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state sanctioned murder

they face you, eyes un-swaddled
- men outstretched on crosses
chained to icons of mercy
though mercy denied

through the stillness of darkness
a strong calm voice rings out
Amazing Grace softly begun
taken up one by one, until
eight voices sing in unison

a rattling cacophony of fire
as you blindly follow
the order of the lowered sword

eight hearts pierced
eight souls fall

and in an unquiet silence
I am left to ponder
how do you feel
you men behind the guns?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
http://www.news.com.au/world/asia/what-the-world-and-media-is-saying-about-the-executions-of-andrew-chan-and-myuran-sukumaran/story-fnh81fz8-1227326355421?gclid=CM7asP_Yn8UCFcaXvQodLnEAQw
Editing stage: 

Comments

purely as a hymn, he was a slaver himself till his conversion to Christianity when he became an ardent abolitionist. The song became emblematic of the abolitionist movement only after the 1986 film of the same name.

I like the poem, it has power and has it's own unique beauty.

Sorry, I don't understand the significance of the repeated number eight.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Glad you like this ... just did some last minute editing
There were eight shot - thus the mention of eight - didn't mean to emphasise it though ...perhaps I'll have another look at it ... have I repeated it too often?

thanks again for the visit, Jess
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

are talking with friends and support, exercise, antidepressants and not watching the news. I am completely out of touch with the corporate press. I checked it out.

One eight was what right. Eight human beings. Eight deaths, it is effective, if your reader knew what you were talking about.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

carries even more power.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I wondered if maybe the poem needs a reference.... so...

http://www.news.com.au/world/asia/what-the-world-and-media-is-saying-abo...

xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

especially with the emphasis on the number eight. There must be at least a few people as ignorant of current affairs as me [grins].
Would you put a reference in the poem or add the link at the end?

On a personal note, whilst I disagree with the death penalty on principle the punishment should have been severe. Those men were accessories to murder and misery by drugs.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

10 years in a not so nice prison... and under constant threat of death, with hope dashed again and again...
By all accounts had reformed, and were doing really good works....

My opinion - 10 years is about what a murderer may serve in Australia (whether that is right or wrong moot for this comparison) - and isn't the point of prison attempted reform?

A waste, I say.... of money spent on reformation in the first place, and what had become useful lives in the second...
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Instead it only teaches how to get away with crime and perpetuates race hatred.
Especially when prisons are run by corporations.
A revolution is needed.
Next to China America has its highest proportion of the populace in jail.
May I say again, America is the most corrupt nation in the world.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

and the majority of those in prison in America are black and are there for stupid offences such as having a joint on them ... offences that whites get away with - seems it depends on your social and financial standing as to whether you get a long jail term or a slap on the wrist - lol ... pretty much the same as here in Australia methinks
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

it might leave a civilian to think, when his apparition rises from the fall of lead and declares" i am a civilian", a poet from my country says- it only serves to aggregate his fright- for how could he have risen, a being of this world, in that hour of impartial death, but i thought also your quarrel is not of this world- it stands for both eternities

harder too understand, .... but the truth of concession, why men kill using uniforms

for your visit and comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

lands one must be aware of the laws. Did they all deserve death? I'm not well informed enough to know but that is what their laws called for. Many things which are not even illegal in the west carry harsh penalties in other regions.
Now as to prison being for rehab.........I'm afraid it hasn't been that for a long time. It is for punishment, revenge and setting an example now days. As for death penalty, there ARE times when guilt for heinous crimes is in no doubt. i would gladly pull the trigger on somebody like McVeigh or Assoma Bin Deadun. But in a way that could be considered merciful compared to a life time sentence with no chance of parole.

Now to the poem itself. i think it does very well in bringing the plight of those who were executed to light...........stan

for the visit and thoughts....
Interesting that emphasis of the critiques is on the eight men, when the poem is actually contemplating how those feel who carry out the State's order to kill unarmed and chained men...... I really didn't think I made any sort of judgement within the write about what I thought about the sentence itself...

lol - as for the annhilation in the nicest possible way of those you would wish to get rid of - I have a list too....
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

where I read it but I once read that the kindest way to execute somebody would be to have somebody rush forward to the condemned shouting that a mistake was made and he was to be set free. Then just as the condemned started to smile it the news, have somebody sneak up and put a bullet behind his/her ear. For some reason this has always stuck with me.......stan

As all have said this is a good write and straight to the point.
In Australia your drug carrying punishment is about Seven years, in Australia a life is looked on with more dignity and this is the law, as with us in the UK.

In Thailand as you go through the airports and a few other places it is advertised that to deal in Drugs or carry drugs of most types, is a criminal offence and the sentence is Death.
I just looked at the site on the net about the laws in Thailand and would read them again before travelling there.
I suppose if those eight men had left Thailand and arrived in Australia and there found to have drugs they would have finished their sentence by now.
I don't wish to seem shallow on this thing but should we respect others laws as we visit their countries.
This is going to cause a bit of discussion so I will wait for the replies.
Still a great write though..
Yours as always, Ian xx

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

that the father of one of the boys involved (I say 'boy' as he was only 17 or 18 at the time) went to the Australian Federal Police to ask them to stop them ... and the police then sent the details to the Indonesian authorities - that's how they were caught. ...

We don't have the death penalty in Australia... we consider ourselves a little more enlightened - we don't have the right to take a life for a life...
Those cops could've arrested them as they were coming back into Australia with the contraband....

Regardless... I understand the tribulation drugs bring, and I appreciate that only desperate people or idiots would ignore all the signs at the airport.... but just saying....

As for the poem - as I said to Stan, it wasn't meant as a judgement of the sentence, but rather a contemplation of how they who carry out the sentence for the State feel....

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Your write was as usual spot on.
Here in the UK I remember a documentary on the official hangman to the crown.
Each time he carried out a sentence he was charged with murder, it was a long time ago now and can't remember the way it was handled.
The way he carried out the task was with respect and with great efficiency, now we have no need for his work.
I saw other countries way of doing things and some were cruel and not carried out well.
I feel for those that have to put up with the empty space left where their loved ones were, I wonder where the blame for the emotions is placed.
It is such a hard thing to think of as there are so many probabilities and what if's.
Take care out there, Yours Ian x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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