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petite mort

.
in the now
immediacy infusing my psyche
no thought of before or after
aware only of that crack in time
in which I exist while floating
on solid ground

accompanying myself on some quest
or pilgrimage
-- an unknown undertaking of
momentous significance
the thought of which brightens truth

experience fragmented
united
absurd
meaningless nothings
making infinite sense as
flawless, complete, perfect sanity

loved ones who are
farther away than any breadth measured
here closer
than any treasured breath

unconditional love
softens my night-time quiescence
harmonious belonging
blending
blurring lines of demarcation
between me and other

blissful acceptance of
what is consummate
unaware of
what is not

I am
fuelling my immortality
being ....

then, stirring
memory invades
a stretch, a yawn
actualise knowledge of substantiality
shimmering
slivering
surrounds shatter

euphoria kaleidoscopes
into confusion
a snap of recognition as realities collide
I open my eyes

and wake, again, into The Fall
.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Honestly. this one went over my head. Perhaps too abstract for me to understand....certainly nothing rong with the poem coming from a stalwart like you...just my ignorance...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

would it help to know (if you don't already) that 'petite mort' is french for 'sleep' and it literally means 'little death'....

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

No..i didn't know that

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Moment-Between moment!

abstractions of the delve..
like splitting atoms
illusions of thought
experience
connection

a transcendance
into words

always the most challenging
of writing
or poetry

When I write abstractions
from my own experience
at trying to do this for years
is that I use the most of experience
from my life
A lot of it intimate
A lot of feelings

The narrative of this poem
is such..a narrative of thoughts
exposed..layed out
painted

Shakespeare used the theme of
Dreams for many of his characters
for the revelations of plot and
character...Keeping in mind that
he was writing for all audiences
then..He knew the pit mosh crowd
to the private cash boxes

Like magic the most succulent of
illusions comes from that magic
of self revelation..

Your paragraph spacing..
the use of punctuation
is correct

I like the hypen I think it was
hyphen to indent the
almost In Title Title line

I spent a lot of time travelling
with others..staying awake
thinking..listening to the wind
or rain on the roof or the sounds
of the house trying to circle down
from the strato of ideas to the
touchdown of dreams

Many people I knew spoke aloud
woke up sometimes sitting up
talking clearly..lucid..but deep in
sleep....startling...Our minds are
so much more...the creative side
so great.

There is beauty in the random
the feeling throughout this
that I got was the great infinite
of personal existance
a great longing
a great awareness
towards much more

an artists soul

the line
"I wake in fall"
is fantastic

it can be the season
the mood...
atmospheric
and a metaphor
to literally "fall"

fall into reality
fall from the heights of view
of thought

Fall into the descending
music score
scene
act...

I am enthusiastic of your
work

Thank You!

I am so very glad you liked this.
this is such a positive crit, and I might say too, that coming from you - the master of free form - it gives me extra confidence that I am sometimes getting it right
thank you.
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

The first verse captures the reader and the rest is just, well i think Esker says it best. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thanks so much for the very supportive comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

re read this...I am very happy...a great day....knowing that it will or may be
crazy and out to get me the next day....but...on a happy evening...I read
this and Love that line....

again..Thank You!
Is poetry not for pulling from the mantle of your favourite collecton
in your favourite chair
resting with your dog beside you
the house at peace..
my fire
Here now is a hundred watt bulb
I pull close when I am chilled...
(Although nearby is a TIM HORTENS with a
little lounge of chairs and a little rippling gas
fireplace! how very quaint)

Ive said this before....
I love your writing!

Thank You!

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