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The Back Scratcher
I can no longer scratch my back
My left wrist hurts like it's crazy
Running all way up my elbow
I can barely use my left arm.
While some with ease can twist their arms
I can no longer scratch my back
Like I'm used to since forever
Now my wrist hurts like it crazy.
Carpal tunnel has my right hand
The pain running way up my arm
I can no longer scratch my back
As easily as I used too.
If that is not enough for me
A nerve that's pinching my right neck
Has my arm swelling and hurting
I can no longer scratch my back.
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Mon, 2015-03-30 14:56
Hi Barbara
I can see that you have liked the Quatern form as you have written quite a few poems in that pattern. What struck me is not only you are almost mastering this form but while doing so you use real time themes to express what you feel bodily as well as in the world around you...also using poetry as a therapy...everyone knows the discomfort and irritability if one cant scratch one's back..which you have expressed pretty well in this Quatern.....Keep a long handled comb handy perhaps that may help...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2015-03-31 02:57
Raj
Thanks for reading and sharing you comments.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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scribbler
Mon, 2015-03-30 15:27
LOL
Most folks only have one neck but you apparently have a right one and a left one or a right one and a wrong one lol. Your poem captures well one of the prices of being older. ............stan
Barbara Writes
Tue, 2015-03-31 02:55
Stan
Lol. I didnt realize his that sound thanks for reading.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
mand
Tue, 2015-03-31 05:14
Hi Barbara
My husband would definitely relate to this poem because he has had carpel tunnel in the right hand ( been operated on ) and now he has it in the left. I like the way you have used your own experience in this poem - it makes it more potent somehow. Syllable count looks good! I'll leave any other critique to the experts! but it all seems good to me!
LOve to you
Mand xxx
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-04-01 20:36
Hi mand
Thanks for reading and sharing. Yea that carpal tunnel ain't no joke
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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Lenny of Cohen
Tue, 2015-03-31 12:46
Sadly..............
I also relate to this fine piece of writing :-(
I have bi lateral Carpel Tunnel Syndrome :-(
But hey! It makes life interesting.
Now my knees are also joining in the fun!
Enough about me!!! Away I stumble........................
_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent
Wei Wu Wei
Barbara Writes
Wed, 2015-04-01 20:40
Lenny
Not a problem these syndrome loves company lol thanks for reading and sharing. Glad you liked it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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alidzain
Fri, 2015-04-03 14:00
Barbara
I envy you for being able to master this form. Sadly, I'm still stumbling when I'm trying to write one. Now I learn new term for disease. Carpel tunnel,hmmmm, will find out more about it. Love the personl touch/experience in this one.. Thumbs up or this piece.
Alid
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-04-03 00:09
Thanks Alid
Yea some form get me though like those sonnets lol
I'm glad you like. Keep at you'll get it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-04-03 00:09
Thanks Alid
Yea some form get me though like those sonnets lol
I'm glad you like. Keep at you'll get it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
judyanne
Fri, 2015-04-03 00:48
lol Barb
I have trouble scratching my back even without carpel tunnel syndrome...
i have a fork I have placed aside to do the job...
a fun write - enjoyed
this faze for the quatern should make it easy for you in this month' s contest
- it' s a very similar style - the only difference being it is the last verse of every stanza that is repeated
go for it....
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Barbara Writes
Mon, 2015-04-06 06:00
Thanks Judy
I certainly will. Sound like more fun
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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