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Self Portrait
he’s quick to the quick, an alarmist
so easy to slip on his arm rest
the dogs all start barking
when foam he is harking
he never was known as the calmest
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
judyanne
Sat, 2015-03-07 00:04
limerick
well written
lol is that really you?
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Sparrow
Sat, 2015-03-07 04:25
Simon
A good short piece, thought the repeat of quick in the first line spoilt it,
"he’s speedy to the quick, an alarmist"
or some other fast word it was just too/two quick for me,
Take care Yours, Ian
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
judyanne
Sat, 2015-03-07 05:08
a matter of opinion ian
I actually was quite taken by the two 'quicks'
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
weirdelf
Sun, 2016-12-25 07:16
"when foam he is harking"?
Que?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Thu, 2016-12-29 16:11
the radical....
and the savage sat at his side of the master
hackles raised......
the minion blessed unleashed
darkness and ruin foamed at the jowls
while those opposing jeered and howled!!
tete du tete.
carte blanche..
military scene..
its a first round
expendables go first.....
they after all
are the first to test
and bloody the ground!
the mad dogs of war......
luckily the cooler brass
prevailed.....
send him off with his loyal
squad....see who returns...
Kings often sacrificed
such declaring the enemy
to the scene.....
psy ops mission...
suprise often they returned
the bubbling brew
oh what to do!!
good ol random
was alway true!!
read books on Ford
Chrysler..Benz....
Delorean....countless
books!!!
McNamara..etc
power and control.....
ask Joan of Arc how
she did it.....Napolean
or Nelson in his hammock
with the needlepoint bird
of his woman all fanciful
did they change history
yes....yes they did....
bravo on this poem!
a kick ass knock kneed
jaunt.....Like my ride
on a new chinese
bus through the mountians
of Jamaica where we almost
colllided with a dump truck
and fell over a cliff a thousand
feet to our deaths..
Wouldnt be here now!
a close shave..
ha..
someone has to do it!!
Thank U for this terse
poem!!
so dug in and true!
Mr Wolf!
Candlewitch
Thu, 2016-12-29 16:34
hello!
if you had said "she" instead of "he" you would have been describing me, LOL!
always, Cat
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