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Remembering Dad
He wasn't a big man by nature
but he had a big heart inside.
He's a teacher, a thinker
who pushed you to greater heights.
He used to say humans are never meant to be
as still as stagnant water
if you are not moving forward,
you're not embracing life.
We had our differences,
we had our arguments
but when I was down with fever,
he would be there to offer me a hug
He never said "I love you."
but he showed it with his actions.
He was a strict disciplinarian
but he was also a loving father.
At times when I am alone
and life seems too great a burden,
I find myself remembering his words
and within them I find a way
to calm my troubled heart and
untangle the messy thoughts in my mind
to set me free.
Thank you, Dad for everything.
I wouldn't be the man that I am
without your teachings...
Comments
weirdelf
Wed, 2014-11-12 16:40
I'm really not sure about your mixing of tenses.
It works in a way, showing that though he has died he lives within your heart and memories. Maybe if you "kept him alive" from the first line
He isn't a big man by nature
then only in the final stanza let him go
It feels as if he is reaching me
from the grave to comfort me.
Thank you, Dad for everything.
I wouldn't be the man that I am
without your teachings...
Just a suggestion
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
alidzain
Wed, 2014-11-12 18:37
Thank you
for the visit and the suggestion, Jess.
Alid
weirdelf
Mon, 2015-02-23 18:04
this reads a lot better to me, Alid,
are you happy with the changes? That is the litmus test.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
alidzain
Mon, 2015-02-23 18:08
yes, Jess
I am. Thank you.
Alid