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SELF, APPEARANCE, AND DECEPTION

In the mirror there's a guy
who isn't in the stale reflection
unseen no matter how I try
the image is only a distraction.

But that distraction's looking back;
it sees skin and eyes and hair grown thin
clothes and muscles turning slack.
It's blind to all that lies within.

That inner person sees itself
through memories edited through years
like touched up photos on a shelf
air brushed of foibles, fears and tears.

All the world perceives the outer shell
combined with false crafted personality
hiding defects where I really dwell.
Even I don't know who's really me.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

Typo at the start - do you mean 'in the mirror''?

nice rhythm, but I would lose the 'all' at the start of the final stanza

I enjoyed reading this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Though I don't agree with most of the content.
We can decieve others with our outer shell only for a short time. We can't always hide ourselves "with false crafted personality". In addition, we know ourselves even more. :) Just my opinion.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I don't think anyone really knows me ... least of all me

So I do agree with this write
We are our memories, and we are someone different to everyone we meet, there is a veneer that each and every one of us builds around ourselves... it's an instinctive self-preservation thing.... and, until we're tested, we really don't know ourselves

Just my opinion :)

and stan - mm here .... please look carefully at that 'all' beginning the first verse in the last stanza - in all my reads it has spoilt the not bad rhythm of the rest :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Give me a few minutes to delete "and" before you go off the deep end lmao. I agreed with that idea the 1st time I read it but time has been short the last couple of days. So hopefully the top of your head hasn't blown off yet (kidding).......stan

author comment

We all try to show our best side to the word most of the time in my opinion. If not we would display every mood change that popped into our head. And over time I think memories drift toward being edited to at least a small degree. I expect even you have minimized the pain of child birth lol. And minimizing unpleasant memories while maximizing pleasant ones leads to edited memories. I suspect you can recall every detail of your wedding. But can you recall every thing happened one any single day 6 months ago? But opinions vary. I appreciate your dropping by and taking time to add your thoughts......stan

author comment
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