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Press & Brenda

Submitted by press on Fri, 2015-01-30 21:56

I found my true love thru the darkness of my life her touch her kiss was the reason to for fill the love that was right
With opening of a single eye a walk to love a life to subscribe.
To lose her is beyond any fight because when she holds me she gives me the love that expands my life.
To lose him would be my question why when i love him till the day I die.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I love this girl and she love me
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Fri, 2015-01-30 22:35

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https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/press-brenda-submitted-by

Honest and genuine, Press

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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emogothgirl

Wed, 2015-02-04 19:45

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I really like this. My only suggestion is to break up the lines a little more, give it some good flow to match the super content. Straightforward, straight from the heart. Absolutely lovely.

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