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The Pushers

out the window
pitchforks rise
village torches, fear blown eyes

be you queer
or Mohammed
allied hysterics weave the thread

god’s own drones
will not give way
the holy bank note’s here to stay

and while the hate
is seeping in
divisive plans are underpinned

the war machine
your faithful friend
has nothing for you in the end

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Like so many times I perceive this is a particular type of poetry but also like so many times I have no idea what it's called lol. But whatever it's called it has good rhythm and the thoughts are well conveyed. War for the sake of war is an abomination...........stan

it was bubble gum poetry
- I have no idea what that means but I felt like I should be insulted as a courtesy

author comment

with effortless ease. Nicely done. God = Gold, Oil and Drugs! The insanity of Man is fully evident with the many belief systems his mind bows to.

We should be offended by what the politicians and priests, and behind them the bankers say and do. We are all collectively responsible for the state of the world.

loved this:

god’s own drones
will not give way
the holy bank note’s here to stay

This would make an excellent performance poem. In my healthier years I prowled the stage many a night, one introduced as Satan's Sidekick ! The compare was shocked when my material was not black enough to back this intro up!

_________________________________________
"Death" is nonsense: what is there to die?
"Life"? How could " life" "die"? That is a contradiction
in terms. Can "light" become "darkness"?
"Light" can only cease to be apparent

Wei Wu Wei

on the same page. A lot of my family are actors and the like, as a result taking the stage is something I've put effort into avoiding. Lately though I've been thinking I might get away with it.

Leonard Cohen's been my hero forever

author comment

A very good write and fully understood, the continuous waging of war and endless differences.
The tower of Babble was a real killer it depicted what we would be in a world that had many religions and words of strange meanings and sounds.
The whole world is tired of strife but we have political parties that cannot strive for a soul state they have to strive for confusion and wars in endless dribble.
Not sure if the tower was about talk or anything, maybe we cant understand the thought behind the action of spreading people about this beautiful planet who speak many tongues.
When I return Home I shall read up on this thing we strive for,
Yours, Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

was a good story about the failure of man
I see it as a warning that was left unchecked
a small measure of fear comes with healthy curiosity
politics is allergic to curiosity
fear is used to medicate it

author comment

the 'Tower of Babel' was an effort of humanity to reach Heaven! To thwart this effort, God decided that he would divide and conquer. He made sure that we would never devise such a plan again, by fixing it so that we could not understand each other! It worked! Fear is born of not understanding things. I think that God understood this very well and put us off for a long time, But, man has an indomitable spirit and has found ways to communicate. We will eventually reach the heavens and
find that "God" is just some alien that screwed around with our DNA to make a subservient race to do his work for him and when we get there, we will kick his ass! ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I am aware of the story but never think of god as more than a holy bauble through which (in this case) a reasonable idea was conveyed. either way most failed to grasp it or rise above the fears of their own heart. thanks for your perspective, I don't think we disagree.

author comment

Darwin's finches spring to mind, how would you explain the many languages in the world, it is bad enough having accents in one country as here in this small Island called England, we have an amazing number of different ways of talking.
Most only hear the so called Queen's English, there are places such as Cornwall where people will find it hard to understand people from Newcastle.
Nothing to do with Babel then Europe with its many languages, just to do with a long time ago small tribes have their own way of talking, evolution is more likely.
This is the only way I have noticed in the whole world that Humons have evolved.
The story of Babel is only a way of explaining to the many as the creation of Earth etc: Good to talk about it though, Yours Sparrow

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

the verses-
"be you queer,
or Mohammed,
allied hysterics weave the thread."
are a bit awkward scansion-wise.

Despite the formatting I heard it in my head as rhyming couplets, maybe that's what the someone who told you it was bubble gum poetry was referring to.

I would turn it to a compliment; that the tunesy tone disarms the reader and makes the in-your-face content even more impacting.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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