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21st Century Faux Pox

is it my own fault
or is life just hard
is there more than a milkshake
in a broken down yard

does he dress to the left
with a hand on his hip
is she right on the money
can she now get a grip

will a flower grow up
where a tree fell down
will a cure for their riches
and itches be found

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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

or a Lear limerick.
It is perfect in structure, delightful and sound.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

shit eh, the poem was still worth it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

The title 'pox' not 'paux', or 'faux'
The write, seemingly asking strange questions...l - unlike jess, would love to dissect this, if only i could get a handle on it ..lol....

The good rhythm and rhyme give the write a musicality, that almost (almost) makes it unimportant that the text doesn't much sense to me

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

refers to a false pox cast upon us

the write . . . I guess it chimes or it doesn't.

I thank you for your interest

author comment

You ask a valid question so I'll try my best to answer. The milkshake bit is a play on that awful pop song with the lyric "my milkshake brings all the boy's from the yard". On the whole I'm trying to remark on the dichotomy of an average (hetro it seems) relationship with a little of Leonard Cohen thrown in for good measure.

I hope this helps - feel free to ask more questions

author comment

it makes more sense to me now
thanks simon
i haven't heard that particular song.... i maybe would''ve picked up the theme a little more quickly if i had
good write
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

that i love cryptic little writes such as this. i would have adored it anyway without your explanation, but knowing your musical references made it absolutely perfect. to make it even better, your meter and rhyme is perfect! great job on this one, simon. thanks for sharing it with us.

mag

life has been sweet to you

author comment

but it's so silly and fun

never break the scene
never hesitate..

Morrison...been morrison on the mind
and sixties blues been crabbing the files
in my head...slide show dichtomony
trying to match the harmony
of the chant of disfunction from
my wait at the junction...

foot on the platform
other on the train
going down to new
orleans
to wear that ball
and chain...

great poem U got here by
the way...
I watch the people and the people
watch me
some got it those moves
effortless the glide
ability to hit all the highs
and slide on the lows
and inside nothing but
that cold rain be blowing
on their soul

snap open that lighter
flick open that blade
the wit of transpire
they get what they crave

my jumbalya of late is
missing something
I know the random will
bring it to me
I could look for a thousand
years and never find it
the blindness of intuition
...
reading the great poets
here this evening
then the television
then back here..

extremely witty work
that fast agility
my old friends like
that are off in the
world now...

Thank U!

Mr Wolf!

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