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Castle of Dreams at War

The castle is quiet in my head
All talkers ready for bed
Feeling at peace my horse in the saddle
There're no night terrors for me to battle
Just the sleep in my eyes demanding rest.

A few reads of poetry tonight
And some loving critique, none so light
Is what I planned before lights out
Two bottle of antibiotics without a doubt
Can't do a thing for my infectious plight.

’ crashing with every word I read
On my iPad I’m steady falling asleep
While the pills relieving pain finally works
Feeling creepy as I try to finish this piece of work
Late in the twilight before my head embrace the bed

Editing stage: 

Comments

forecast poem...
I relate to this poem...I dont sleep well..
dreams....dreams...
and waking up from dreamland is difficult
for me due to the vividness I dream in
I arrive from that in character..

So a poem about falling asleep..with a cold
and it being quiet instead of the usual
pre sleep chatter would be creepy..
a calm....
Pain...antibiotics...illness..
at our age here....(My partner and I are
past thirties...mortality and the usual
catching up)
its nice to know there is something
working...
then the fear of it taking over
completely

Long ago I disregarded how I felt
didnt take much...(Odd for me)
for the cough and got pneumonia
after that I look after things..

In the saddle line I like....I dont
sleep well...
I used to wake up ready for anything
I didnt take sleep meds because I
wanted to be alert...
which led to thinking If I stay awake
then nothing would happen
sleeping well lately
but it was hard to turn that over

reading taking you towards sleep
sleep as a castle...rest as a castle
full of its battlements
and drawbridges moats

I like the analogy of that
because I can relate...

Thank You Barbara!

Glad you enjoyed And could relate to it. I see the anology worked better than I could have hoped.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

over on facebook
the idea of offense in defensive structures
even language is such
I dont want to say Im sensitive but I do take
things to heart a lot
and want to keep track of my own past
events...tricky but can be done..
I like how your poems are tied in to the
mechanics of social interaction
within your intimate world
and the outer
and that you write about it
in a mature way

like it "just is"

Thank You Barbara!

I want befriend you on Facebook and see the good comments I inspired. Lol.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment
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