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The Baron Bulltookensheraku (humor shop)

The Baron Bulltookensheraku
ate pork the wolf dragged in thru
the door of Pulwikit Castle.
The wolf got the bones
and a piece of the girl
who rode with her red cloak a flashing.
When Charming rode up
to rescue the broad
she said, “No thanks lover, I’m happy.”

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Humor is actually rather difficult for me.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

In the last few words you have said "humor is actually rather difficult for me"..after reading your poem I believe you are not short on imagination going wild...

regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

yes, funny and enjoyable
me thinketh thou protesteth too much about the difficulty of writing humour
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

thanks for the input
short tp the point and as funny as hell lol

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

See it wasn't as hard as you thought, I cant wait for the punch line, very good write so far lol.
Yours Waiting for you 2 read mine,
Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

There Is that eating which can be done sans cannibalism you dirty old man lmao. Very funny......stan

is dark and humorous. Close to something I might write! So the wolf got his cake and ate it too? Love it!

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I hate the thing, but everyone else likes it? Just strange, but thank you all (actually, I think the name is kind of cool and you really can pronounce it. It took me some practice though).

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

it was creative. Very unlike you but it worked well :)

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I like it too! it's a sophisticated poem with quirky humour - the ending made me laugh!
( it's a contrast from the rest of the poem - that's what makes it funny ) .

Great write :)

Love Mand xxxxx

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