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I Want To Hear Your Heart

i want to tell you about my day, every day
every time i talk to jam i wonder
would i have time for him if i had you
would i have time for anyone really?
would i even care? actually, no.
scratch that.
i know i wouldn't.
i want to come home after a long day of swinging snowboards
a really, really fucking long day
and collapse into you.
i want to melt and let your soft fingers trace my rough hands
there are callouses now from screwdrivers
and my hands hurt all day.
i want to pour my tired soul into your smile
and press my ear to your chest, please,
erase the christmas carols from my eardrums.
this season has been fucking torture.
saturday i'm supposed to wear an ugly christmas sweater
and i don't have one. i want to wear one of yours.
i want to leave the house
knowing that there is a home to come back to
because lately any true home has been temporary
resting in the arms of friends.
i have no sense of permanency and i want it all back.
i want to tell you everything that happened from the moment i woke,
how the coffee i made wasn't very good and i drank it anyway,
i gave dale some if my brownie and my hot chocolate was just hot water
i sat on top of the ladder for three hours, because it was easier
than going up down up down up down
until my supervisor said i wasn't allowed.
i want to be happy again and
i want to remember you and smile again
i want to smile and not stop smiling.
"taken" meant not caring. taken meant i was worthy.
now, i am more confused than anything.
and all i want is to hear about your day.

Last few words: 
"somos lo que fue." hasn't been my best christmas i'll admit that
Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked this one, free flowing with imprints of all beats, swings, troughs and craving to re-discover echoes and a sanctuary....

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

an open letter
can hear the lonely asked for togetherness of
another..like the everyday anectdotes of getting
through the tough season alone..

can have this and live with someone for eight
long hard years....each off in own world...put
off each time...now there's a hell..
beats being completely alone,,maybe

great poem of topic though!
Like the durable hope of the narrator!

thank you!

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