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The Realm

Human nature is the cause
we can never ascend
but I want to go to the realm
a place much more
scary than I would like to pretend
a place where angels
and demons are in conflict
to me it would be
a weird tourist attraction
I won’t be taking photos
I would want to be
part of the action
of coarse the battle
would only be for the divine
that is why
I fight them in my mind
what if one day
it would materialize
a feat to be realized…

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY MY HAND TO DIFFERENT TOPICS AND THE GENERAL
Editing stage: 

Comments

I WANTED IT TO LOOK MORE THEN YOUR USUAL POEM

author comment

A REAL GENEROUS FEEDBACK WILL DO

author comment

Firstly welcome to Neopoet site, I hope that you can learn of us and with us.
We are mostly a workshop but have a lot of great writes that all can read.
There are quite a few poets from South Africa writing here, I spent many good years in Pretoria and Port Elizabeth, I don't know if they have changed the names of those places yet, hope you will let me know..
There are a couple of good workshops starting in the next week or so and as they are a great place to learn I hope to see you there..
A good write but is there a reason that you would want an eternal conflict.
There is a place I know of and have been taught about that is full of energy and unconditional love, there cannot be conflict there lol.
Yours, Ian.T
PS:- Try not to use capital letters as it is deemed as shouting..

.
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So find more reasons to believe in others..

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Enjoyed it well written

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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