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Neglection Of The Missing Moon

the long fade
...exposed....
in naked windows
and empty spaces

the crumblings
dusted away

nothing breathes

the last sounds, sent
yesterday
rattling in crates
smelling of then;
when here meant them
...and part of me

but, all did not fit
for them, not enough

now I'm alone
left with only misgivings

they,
on their way
to find what was missing

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Nice poem. It has me looking for something missing. I know what it is in me I'm missing. So the poem is spot on. As for the moon it's missing but there when it's new. Pitch black outside my sliding door where it's normally lit by the moonlights

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

the "missing moon" of the title is analogous to the enormous consequence to a man who neglects what is missing, and needed, for his family's (emotional) well being.

I know it's a little "out there" ( the poem)...but, sometimes it just comes out that way!

thank you for expressing your reaction.

sincerely,

Al

author comment

I interpreted it just as you intended from my female perspective. The missing moon in this beautiful poem is a perfect analogous of the consequences a man faces and is obvious when a female's emotional need as well as the children is intentionally or unknowingly neglected.
It is way out there, but then so am I for the most part. One thing I don't get is how a man could agree that the moon is missing for what ever reason then double down on the neglect when it's brought to his attention.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

thank you again for your thoughtful response.

some men aren't built for the standard type of relationships... they went into them as young men, pushed,so it may seem, by social and peer pressures, not realizing how unfit they are for marriage and family...but they become comfortable in their ways, selfishly discounting the "missing moon"...hoping no one notices, or just not caring if they do! The saddest part (for the women and children)... they will never change... they can't... they don't want to...but the irony, they will cry like a baby when the relationship ends. Men like this are plentiful...warn your daughters!

thank you, I enjoyed the "conversation"...

sincerely,

Al

author comment

Neglection, strange word to use in the title,
as it is debated as to it being a word or not.
The vast spaces where even the moon has neglected to be present, I wonder if the new world will ever start or will the walls continue to crumble as they are built.
Yours as always, Ian
A secretive write where are you??? Good Though !!

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

If by secretive, you mean incomprehensible, then yes, I suppose so
but what the hell do you expect....this is a poetry site....tons of incomprehensibility float by us everyday...whether by design, or simply "failure to communicate"

as for "neglection", I don't think it is any stranger than the poem itself...and it IS a real word... maybe not to a grammarian... but sometimes I prefer to be anti-grammatical...and even incomprehensible, just 'cause, whatever!. This time, I think of it ( this poem) as part of a learning curve...the next session of WTF will have its own raison d'etre

"Good though!" is more than generous
thank you Ian

regards,

Al

author comment

I suspect there are a lot of people that just read the poem skip a few words and as you can see not many comment.
I do check words I am not familiar with and then ask the odd question.
We need versatility here and things to make others think but most times I feel some find it too much trouble.
Yes your word is at most times acceptable I believe it comes down to those perfectionists lol.
Good on you to come back at the comment.
I wish more of our members would comment it is once again becoming a place just to post and who is learning in those cases.
I look forward to your writes, this one was just a tad different in form,
Yours as always, Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I never mind how you respond to one of my poems.
if I sound terse, I apologize.
when you make specific statements, and observations, I go right to them, sometimes a tad
abruptly, but I prefer those specific comments to wishy washy ones...they (the wishy wash ones) are harder to respond to...not that you are wishy washy but some others....well, leave it at that.
I am probably one of the worst offenders, myself.

You can wish all you want about the site...nudge it a little bit...but ultimately, it will evolve, or devolve like any other entity...enjoy what it has to offer today...tomorrow may never come, for it, or any of us for that matter...the world is a fickle place!

thanks for your honest , and thoughtful comments

regards,

Al

author comment

the moon becomes important when the curtians are gone.
no furniture but a matress on the floor
because of the angles with a sheet
you notice it from its height...its degrees..

apartment buildings you never see
but aware of some of the others..
downtown to coffee you see happy
enough ness..
crates..boxes
storage lockers full of forgotten
discards and bins
toys...furniture to expensive to
move

the walls that go up
eventually are built brick
by brick
and the moon crosses
above
from one yard to another

i tend to be emotionally
absent not finding that a
great landing
and glad to be underway
never learning to walk
upon the land

only when im most tired
and in pain from run of a day
beaten down do they bother
to want just comfort
a hug...and I usually
dont respond
unable to cross the great
threshold of all the moves
in that no mans land

lately more and more

they missed me and still
do..horribly broken
and I keep in touch
even more possibly
the wrong thing to do

ruins tell so much
Like the beginning opening
of this poem

dreading the arrival
and then the no arrival

great poem
got me thinking

thank you!

I've accepted being alone
I am one of those guys that doesn't fit the standard paradigm
I mourned for awhile, but realized
I was mourning for something I didn't really miss
now I am just "alone" with no regrets
I am finally comfortable with my life

"hell is other people" (in the same house as me)
an amended quote attributed to Jean-Paul Sartre

glad you got something from this poem
I respect your judgement on such things

regards,

Al

author comment

alone...sat watching homes...lived with people...nice enough but extreme.
it was like going point...forward so far out and burning bridges.no back
up....a round table in basement..wire connects raw on laptop..old tower
ip adress blacklisted due to age..this connect I lost....
ten mins to write....then Im giving up for today...
alone....I could...but there is for me so much benifit in living with..
including all the frustrations from others issues...not including mine
overlapping....theirs...
I just find the tensions and gaps makes for great poetry...
some of the best writing comes from the briefest magic of words
and occurences that happens..
that focus on writing is so strong for me

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