Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Acquiesce

The question wasn't about love.
I merely asked if you could live with me;
this me that I am now;
this person that I have become.

Your response stood between us,
a schoolyard bully clenching its fists
just daring me to make a response.

I gazed at the ring on my finger,
took recollection of my vows.
I slid 20 years off for a closer look.

It was then that I realized it was broken;
that this ring couldn't hold love anymore
for it had a rather large hole in it.

I slid the ring back on
and quietly retreated to the couch
where you joined me and we watched television.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

seeking we
for the ring to
bind
to bold
enhance
and hold

faulted
like a texture
like a facet
each time broken
becomes more
brighter
and shatters
too the light

Thank You!

symbols
words and metal
held in our eyes and in our ears
so our hearts
can be reminded how to feel
is it the moment we miss
or the moment that we just missed?

Scott

author comment

This is the Scottwriter I recall . simple, straight forward, flavored with bits of irony, and wit
and finales with a strikingly cool anti-climatic twist.

this flavor is a particular favorite of mine.

but I do appreciate that your palate is broader than my narrow taste zone.

just sayin'.. I like this piece, a lot!

Al

Appreciate you stopping by. I have been working on some different forms as of late and feel like it has put me in a funk. I wanted to get back to my "grass roots" with this one. Sounds like I was able to do that.

Thanks,

Scott

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.