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'Til Twilight's Last Gleaming
another day arrives
on schedule, as usual
I am happy for it
a new day
ample and succulent
eager for all
it begins with a glow
chirp and chatter resume
the scent of cinnamon
spikes the air
I too, am now fully awake
beaming like a saturday kid
a deepity arises
giggly and wry
I snortle as I hitch up my pants
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
mand
Fri, 2014-12-05 09:04
Hi there
This is a nice easy going fun poem - It feels like a happy-go-lucky summers day, calm, happy and relaxed. I learnt a new word - I thought it was a spelling mistake until I looked it up ( deepity )
I really like your honest approach to this poem - it just feels so natural and up beat.
I like it a lot! xxx
Love Mand :)
brittle light
Fri, 2014-12-05 15:19
hello Mand
thank you for noticing the qualities I tried to evoke'
I appreciate your remarks very much.
I'm glad you like it
Al
judyanne
Fri, 2014-12-05 13:20
my dictionary doesn't have the word 'deepity"... .
So can you enlighten me Al?
I like this write .. happy days..... love the last line
but tell me ... do you want the two 'I am happy for it' lines?
love judy
Xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
brittle light
Fri, 2014-12-05 15:14
Judy
deepity is a fairly new coinage, popularised by Daniel Dennett, a philosopher:
a statement that sounds profound; on one level, if true, is trivially true, and false or meaningless on a second level (and would be earth-shaking if it were true)
if you google it,, there are much better explanations..I doubt it is in any dictionary over five years old.
It is already entered the popular lexicon here
I think, now, you are correct about repeating that line...it seemed like a good idea at the time!
thank you, Sensei
Al