Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

H sub Zero: She Loved Me

there is a large pile of numbers waiting to be analyzed
and yet i'm reading you through again.
you and your stupid crypticism
i always prided myself on deciphering, and
i am tangled into your metaphors so deeply that i've become one.
that's all i am now, really. your metaphor.
because what purpose does a shell have
the shell is what gets thrown away,
and the shell is empty.
what would you do with me now
an empty shell?
is that why we threw it away?
i want to know if you gave up.
all those times you accused me of it,
and i said no. i said never.
i meant it and i could not understand
why you couldn't see that.
but i will sit and console her regardless
i will tell her that everything passes,
and at the same time i will wonder if she's talked to you
if you talk to her about me.
every single day i think about you.
and almost as often
i think about him. was there a him?
did that little girl lie to me like she has before
did you mean that you still want me?
what the fuck does it even mean.
do you crave a pair of arms
as badly as i crave a fix
of anything
just make it stop
i want to know if he fills you up
sits in your stomach and expands
i want to know if i ruined faerie lights over
slow deep kisses, more like soul searches
because it sure as hell means nothing to me now.
i hope it's obvious.
i want to know who you felt in your fingers and toes.
i want to know
did you feel me.

Editing stage: 

Comments

Can't say anything more than I loved it. Great write!

Thanks,

Scott

Loved this story, would have loved to know the form it is in, as it seems a loose free verse.
Now to really bring this to a great write, it would be magic to have this portrayed in a set poetic form. All the information is there just need to juggle with Stanzas and all those things that make up a poem.
We will see what evolves from this write,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I tend to be way more comfortable in a very loose free verse, yes. I like to use punctuation and breaks as more emphasis than anything, to kind of tighten up an idea or let it float for a bit. maybe I should see if how it would fit in verse though, good suggestion :)

Thanks for the read,

mags

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.