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Seeding of a Thought

Submitted by raj on Mon, 2014-12-01 12:55

In mind seeds a thought
dwelling in the sub conscious
till births a poem

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Mon, 2014-12-01 13:07

Hi Raj

Nice senryu! Syllable count looks good to me. I like the idea that a seed of thought dwelling in the sub conscious is poised ready to give birth to a poem! Very imaginative!

Love to you!

Mand xxxx

raj

Mon, 2014-12-01 13:17

Hi Mand

Good to see you after a while. Thanks for dropping by and your comment. Good to know you liked the thought.

Much love n hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

judyanne

Mon, 2014-12-01 22:48

hi Raj

as Mand says (hi Mand xxx) nice senryu
i like the s alliteration (although i've been led to believe that alliteration has no place in japanese poetry - too bad if that's the case ços i like it :)

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

mand

Tue, 2014-12-02 02:34