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Continuum
Continuum
Discontented by the now
I long for what has been
and share the thirst for metaphor
that slowly dries my pen
misshapen dreams and anecdotes
beleaguer what I’ve lost
and howling fiends of irony
ensure I pay the cost
a life in limbo seldom fades
indeed, it lingers long
especially if nothing pique’s
one’s urge to sing their song
alibis of yesteryear
seem petulant today
unmindful of the holocaust
their sympathies portray
but ever, in eternal thought,
the cry of hope rings clear
through the corridors of fate
and past the gates of fear
the hand again picks up the pen
once more regains control
and with fresh blood begins anew
the mantra of its soul
C. Lon R. Bruso
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Editing stage:
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Comments
eightmenout
Mon, 2014-11-17 14:34
Lonnie
As always it was a pleasure to read your poem. This one flowed much better than some of your other recent pieces and was eloquently detailed in its subject. A rare pen that shins through on its first read.
Thanks
Scott
scribbler
Mon, 2014-11-17 16:30
Hi neighbor
Poetry, indeed, can really serve as a bridge from the past to the future. And your poems are likely to delve into the future beyond your time here..........stan
Esker
Mon, 2014-11-17 19:10
quick read...my intuitive response...!
"nothing's too pique"
"an alibi of yesteryear"
"that symphonies portray"
"the cries of hope ring clear"
"throughout the corridors of fate
and past the gate of fears"
"this mantra of its soul"
wow..
I like this..
this is my insert of lines that I put in
my own personal changes to your poem
which is a great poem....
its funny the nuance detailing
for each poet...which is why this
is a good workshop place...
like we do at the ortho lab where I work
the lowly assistant to mad genius boss
and other univercity trained techs...
I love streamlining and design..
where I should have gone in college
or an attempt rather then just
art college...for a couple of months
no matter
I like where I am today..
raw..polished and hewn
a strange combo..
These are just suggested
changes to the linework
I realize that others may
interpret your work in their
way and offer their ideas
also...
Like checking our gear
Great work Lonnie!
Thank You!