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Earthquake

When the earth trembles in fury
many buildings are shifted, causing agony
as their walls cracked and crumbled,
burying many lives under the rubble.

The tragedy leaves great cities in ruins
people staring at them in utter disbelief
some are crying loudly, kneeling
others rendered speechless, hearts breaking

they gather together, sharing grief
unable to find words to relief
their troubled hearts and worries
their souls denied of peace.

Livelihoods stolen, dreams are forsaken,
temper flares with unanswered questions
The death toll keeps on increasing
while many more are still missing

communication breaks down as temper flares
patience is a lost virtue in the reign of despair
the government offers support to the victims
but who can calms the hearts tainted by grim?

Here, the arrogance of Man is silenced.
Nature's wraith leave them powerless.
All they can do is to rebuild the city
and survive the aftermath of the tragedy.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A good piece yet I feel that there are deep shock and more hidden feelings that could be brought out, then the after where there are many wandering around not able to take the scenes in.
Still a good piece though, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'll get back to this once I have some rest. Been sleepless for a few nights now.

Alid

author comment

I hope you have some nice music there to listen to for sleep time, it helps.
I shall ask one of the children to visit and calm you down before you sleep, then sit and watch over you till the great light in the sky wakes you.
Take care and take some time for you it is so important,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

many buildings are shifted in agony????
not factual buildings agony or man's which?

my mind is still blank when I try to edit this.

Alid

author comment

Switch off ur compy for two days
and slleeeppppp

then wake up and say hello sesame
open me

and press ur laps
okay top

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