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ARTICLE MAZE

Submitted by Esker on Sun, 2011-01-09 00:23

flare of albino sun
the cold flask
ablaze

drowsy comes
the glitter

all the brave new
moves
like paper
in the empty falls
like fingerprints
on rain stained halls

how you move me
in the cold
mystery of
enthrall

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Sun, 2011-01-09 00:33

Esker's picture

at the lights downtown
had to wait
and my mind shifts
I see the sky and its like
bottled with that sun
white behind the clouds
the mists of snow

and the flakes are falling
and Drowsy is the only thing
I could think of
made me yawn

glitter in the light
as they fell so gently
between the buildings
on everything
these cystal flakes

every muse has their look
a pose
and my mind is littered
with imagery like scattered
flyers

the graffiti of passage
dripping with time
storms
touchs

cold mystery
a shiver
something
about it thick
like carnage
beautiful

beckoning
at the precipice

(I dont know if I described
this poem correct or not
now.....Its like the maze
of transit thoughts..)

author comment

weirdelf

Sat, 2015-01-10 12:34

weirdelf's picture
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the graffiti of passage
flyers
these crystal flakes
and my mind shifts
bottled with that sun
like paper
as they fell so gently
about it thick
storms
and my mind is littered
like carnage
beckoning
every muse has their look
at the precipice
like fingerprints
dripping with time
(I don't know if I described
had to wait
cold mystery
this poem correct or not
now.....It's like the maze
of transit thoughts..)

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Sat, 2015-01-10 16:32

Esker's picture

I like it a lot Elf!
this is where I can see
the loosening of a lot
keeps still the poem

Thank You for taking the time
All the years now I see
your meaning
I like your reworking!!!

thank you!

author comment

weirdelf

Sat, 2015-01-10 18:06

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

thanks

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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