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Reflection On A Long Weekend

Submitted by William Saint George on Sun, 2014-11-09 13:34

I cannot speak
of anything more
transforming than
the day I danced
through time
and so made nonsense
of all my distance.

I sit alone
where I did so many,
many weeks ago
and play this game
of waiting till
the morning comes,
of when the grey
landscape I've long
since made my lair
is washed with fire
and comes alive, and
walks into the distant
fogs of memory.

With sighs I trace
their footsteps
back to where I sit,
the cold becomes a friend
that comforts me, that
turns to pearls
my frozen fount of tears.
A goddess watches from
the moon, a curious thing
confessing to the wind,
who longed to live
now curls its fetid self
away from all that
burns with love, a worm
that shrivels in the wounds
of all its acrid thought,
look how history
evolves before
my sullen eyes,
look how things grow
grey with grief and die.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I may have gone mad eventually...
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Sun, 2014-11-09 13:53

A classic reflective soliloquy which vividly re-creates the journey with a lovely ebb and flow of emotions which made me read this again and again and absorb all the emotions and sentiments...deserving nothing but an applause for your inimitable style which is once again evidenced here...it is a lesson for an amateur like me for sure...obviously bookmarked ...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

alidzain

Sun, 2014-11-09 21:12

alidzain's picture

I wish I could write like you. My fav stanza is the last one, the part - "A goddess watches from the moon, a curious thing". It reminds me of a chinese folklore. Good one. Keep on writing.

Alid

Race_9togo

Mon, 2014-11-10 17:05

Race_9togo's picture
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I seldom comment on your work, because it really needs little or no constructive criticism, in my opinion.
But I feel moved to write this. I just read your poem for the third time, and I have to say, this is excellent. The cadence is wonderful, the content powerful; you've written a timeless poem here, one that suspends time for the reader.
Well, well done.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Ian.T

Mon, 2014-11-10 19:12

Ian.T's picture
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What a great surprise to see you writing a piece again, I hope you have slain the daemons that wandered into your path, ask for us to join you there to fight with you.
Alone is not the place to be it is too solitary and there is no-one to call.
That you have written this great piece is witness to your victories, but please don't walk alone again we are here as always, and have many friends that can help,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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