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The Poet's Words (with spoken word)(Limerick WS)

Submitted by Rula on Fri, 2014-11-07 16:10

Whatever the poets would write,
if dark or those of delight,
they must affect,
and well reflect,
for the blind and the one with sight.

https://soundcloud.com/rula68/the-poets-words-1

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I have added a record so you tell me how bad or good was that
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Can you make a limerick serious?

Comments

raj

Sat, 2014-11-08 03:44

Good write with a message in your limerick. See if the suggested tweak below works for you

Whatever be a poetic write,
be it dark or of delight,
let it affect,
cause to reflect,
the blind and those with sight.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Rula

Sat, 2014-11-08 03:52

Rula's picture
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and thanks for your comment and the suggestions. I believe the same massage can be delivered in millions ways.
Have your suggestions come to smooth the rhythm or for other purpose?

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
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author comment

raj

Sat, 2014-11-08 05:17

Not sure if the suggestion is smooth or good on rhyme

raj (sublime_ocean)

weirdelf

Sat, 2014-11-08 10:50

weirdelf's picture
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you have achieved both serious content and lyricism

cheers,
Jess
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