Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Breaking Free

There you stand before me,
a stranger in the mirror
created from a layer of lies
served over the years.

I hated you because you're untrue!
The fault lies in me, I made you
but now I want a touch of reality
to be the real me, not a make-belief!

My soul grows weary of your presence,
burdened by overbearing guilt and shame.
Get out of my life! I don't want you anymore!
I shattered the mirror to end your game.

The curtains have been lowered on the stage.
Your time is up, charlatan! Begone now!
I'm no longer the kid who wants to fit in,
I'm the man who just needs to be me!

I won't hide myself again.
Self-doubt has kept me chained,
NO MORE, I say! NO MORE!
I am breaking the chains with renewed faith.

The world will know the real me
as I reach out to embrace
Destiny

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

and interesting thoughts Khalid. I Hope it's all but fiction.
I'm the man who just need(s) to be me!... A typo

I thought the poem can stand without the last few lines as we shall all embrace destiney if we like it or not. but that is only me.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You are as you say the one you have made over the years, but great news you can modify that self at any time this is the joy of being a thinking creature that can mull things over and correct their own behaviour patterns.
Damn good write Just a word missing from the last lines:-

The world (WILL) know the real me
as I reach out to embrace
Destiny.

The destiny of man is held in the hands of many, yet are the many misguided if so by whom and what????

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

This piece is wrtten as a memory of my past struggles to remind me to be thankful of what I am now after I have struggled hard to be a better person as I searched for an identity to call my own. Silly me, I forget I already have one so I try to be another person. If you read my reply to Rula here,you'll know how it all came about. Now, I am more at peace with myself even though I have fewer friends here whom I can really rely on. I am a very, very different man in the past. A charlatan who doesn't know his own worth. My religion is my salvation.

Alid

author comment

Thank you for the visit and the comments.This poem IS about me in the past when I was trying to fit in in my youth. Back then, I was young and naive, trying to please others in my attempt to gain more friends. I was the lonely kid at school who always get picked on and in my hope to be accepted, I erred. I lost my way and became a hypocrite. Fortunately, my family members are willing to strive to bring me back to the right path. These days, loneliness doesn't really bother me as much. Maybe it is because I realized that one who has Allah in his heart will never really be alone.

The word "Destiny" in that last stanza refers to my muslim-self, my syahadah which has lost their meaning when I strayed away from Allah's guidance. I am born as a muslim but in my weakness, I have failed to strive to be a true muslim. Even now I'm still struggling and I hope Allah will forgive my past sins.

Alid

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.