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Walking with whom

I walked with you, in the perfection of time
I felt the talk words echo through my mind
As we passed by, they called out all things to me
Of things I wished to know, as I travelled on my way

You smiled as the colours bounced away at my very soul,
You accepted that the think talk was the one I would know
As if we were to stay here for ever and a day
The words flowed as a stream, that bubbled on its way

They flowed between us without much of a pause
You were there with all the things of me, and me of you
It has to be slowed down, for mouths to utter true
How can they compete with this, the way we do

Stop I asked of her, stop let the colours subside
The colours of the think talk, subsided and died
The thinks waved as a flag in a gentle breeze
Slowly they dropped to surrender the weight with ease

The weight of my being, as I was of my own plain.
Thank you for understanding me, let’s try again
How can I talk to you and be of this place I thought
It came to me, a gentle Mauve without words, I was taught

Believe in us, all things will be taught, no fuss.
We think walked the way that had no hold over us
There in view was the great library of learning
The inside walls moved with rainbow fire burning

And there rows of books all glowing with forever
Try, I heard, to find a book that you would like to read
The book you choose can only be of past now deeds
The future though written, is not to be, for us to see

I thought for a while of what book would I read
There out of the rows they came a rainbow of speed
As I knew the books to be, the words just smothered me
Arcing from the shelf they came so peaceful to my mind

The words spoke to me there inside a sentence at a time
Talk of time it was to read, as at home would be a while
The library told me the story so, before I could even smile
My friend this is the place to be as the words are now part of me

That is so, the thought came clear, that’s the way we all read here
It’s not a read I tried to say, but thought it as that was the way.
I have lessons to learn now my friend, I will take you home
In a moment of colour there I was, at the fireside in my room

The colours changed and faded I was filled with gloom
My friend that took me on the other side, spoke to clear the air
Believe in our love and guidance true, we will look after you
I smiled inside as they left me so, to carry on my ways

The colours brightened as the stars I knew they’d last for days
I also knew they would care for me, as they left me in a haze
I am not lonely any more, as they are so near to me
A thought of them that is the way, and they’d be back to see.

Un Verbose Edition:-

I walk with you, in perfection of time
Think words echo through my mind
as we passed, they called to me
Things to know, as I journeyed on.

Your smiling colours bounced my soul,
think talk with the one I would know
As if we were to stay here for ever and a day
Words flowed as a stream, bubbling its way.

Flowing between us without a pause
with all the things of me, you were there
It has to be slowed down, for mouths to utter
Can they compete with this, the way we do?

Stop I asked of her, let the colours subside
the colours of the think talk, subsided and died
the think waved as a flag in a gentle breeze
dropping slowly to surrender the weight with ease.

The weight of my being, in my own plain.
You understood me, let’s try again
Can I talk to you and be of this place I thought
It came to me, a gentle Mauve without words,

Believe in us, things will be taught, no fuss.
We think walked the way that had no hold over us,
There in view was the great library of learning
The inside walls moved with rainbow fire burning

There rows of books all glowing with forever
Try, to find a book that you would like to read
The book you choose can only be of past deeds
The future though written, is not for us to see

I thought of some good books I would read
Out of the rows they came at rainbow speed
I knew the books, the words just smothered me
Arcing from the shelf coming to my peaceful mind.

Words spoken to me inside a sentence at a time
The time it was to read, as at home would be long
I was told the story so, before I could even smile.
This is the place to be the words are now part of me

That is so, the thought came, we all read here
it’s not a read I tried to say, thought it, that was the way.
I have lessons to learn I heard, I will take you home
a moment of colour, I was at the fireside in my room

The colours changed and faded, filling me with gloom
The friend that took me, spoke to clear the air
Believe our love and guidance true, will look after you
I smiled inside as she left me so, to carry on my ways.

Colours bright as the sun I knew, lasted for days
I also knew they would care, as she left me in a haze,
I am not lonely any more, as they are so near to me
A thought that is the way, and they’d draw near to see.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A trip with the children ??
Editing stage: 

Comments

The Lady doth complain too much lol.
Lovely to see you here and your comments have been acted on, I have put the rewrite under the original.
There are still a few too many words in places but I was in a hurry.
I am writing Digit up as a story for a TV channel competition, so I am very busy, they want 3000 words and I have only transposed 780 as yet so I'd better get a grip,
Thanks again, Yours as always Ian xx

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I need a little help with this one as this theme is close to my ways.
I have near 200 hours of audio tapes here to transpose also a story to adapt, all these things eat into my time and I end up not doing any of them lol. Don't know any copy typists do you ??lol
You may have this one as a joint effort if need be, thank you very much for the volunteering,
I have over the last few years held a lot of talks via a channel (The Wife) with some lovely children on the Spirit side and they are all recorded.
The book I had published was the first part of tape one adapted to a story, but they take over and decide how to do it in print.
They call me Grand-dad and show me many things and talk of many things they have where they are. they have made a seat for me to go watch them play, just sounds mad that this is so but there it is.
They communicate with think and colours and it is hard for them to talk as they have to use someone else's voice box.
This is how I was able to record them here, will talk later as there is much to sort on this subject, you may have access to a lot of my work on:- yenti.co.uk
Here is where I park my writing, if you look under the spirit writes you will see what I mean, Take care and my thoughts to Eph, Yours as always Ian x

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I would be very pleased for you to have an edit of this one, when you have done so PM myself, and I will then make it a joint effort of yourself and me, this can be done on the bottom of submissions page.
Thank you for your help, Yours as always Ian.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

by verbose .....
perhaps meant epicureal
7 poems in one Ian
do now listen Snow man is an exception
read mine some
still un-bottomed
what a bard eh!

The Lady is correct in that I tend to use too many words Epi whats it well maybe.
Thanks for your read, I am writing Digit up as a story for some TV critics to peruse so I have a lot of work to do.
You take care Young Bard,
Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

write more epics ad then ask how many read it,
least of all understood it
and does that mean you will not lend an ear to your small bard
is that what I hear! Ian??
the bard

I shall always be here for your words so please not to worry,
I have more work at the moment than I need,
But I shall prioritize and we shall see who is at the top, maybe a young Bard lol,
Take care and know we care also,
Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

u do
bard!
no wstng tym
txt

When I read this write 'epic' came naturally to my mind, the story you weave is magnificent. I like the second version more as it was more in flow but the first version had a more hold on my thoughts. Amazing piece, sir.

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[ never fall in love with your imagination,
A face that isn't real.
A seed of your desires and dreams,
A seed that'll never be a tree. ]

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