only because we got taught you earn the heavier shit..
which was also the emotional barrage and abandonments
I related to the world war one...the weight of all that shit
and how it drives you mad ..the wiating..
then the true madness
the world coming upside down and then the instinctual
training..
Maybe why I loved reading about world war two
although in real life I found the veterans very much
far away from anything I could relate too..
I didnt go through what they did..

vietnam vets.....only because we got so much propoganda
about actually going once we hit the consctiption age
the music was the music of my older sisters
whom had the peace chicken poster on the walls
the b-52 in day glo dropping bombs and the peace
sign across it!! black light bulbs were all the rage
and good well then menial dope
not like todays powerful stuff!

war is powerful....watched hours of the ukraine conflict
till I got too far out watching this...spent a few days
sleeping....hard to get anyones head over that
useless occupationn and yet a part of humans so very
much...the politics..

so I write breadcrumbs..
obli ious to what Im watching in the news and on the
nets when Im not writing

but the small small things I love...the small miniscule
details and moves......sleights of movement
and token things..
bits and peices that others wouldnt notice..
the bigger picture is where everyones focus is..
But the tells....the Tells I live for...

because ultimately everyone is playing some kind
of game..
eyes....eye contact..
I dont do it much.....
but I do have truly exceptional eye colour
and intensity

I only hang around with the most intense people
too........I think because they too are on their own
far limit limbs striving for the moon perhaps
in their skies....

not sure..

these writes are truly personal as they describe
what I live for....I live way out here just to see
the little of the greater glimmer..
like the great camera shot..
of ever...

crazy poet eh?

but this is not everyones life..
in every ordinary
im paranoid
egotistical
way out there..
cant shut my mind off
half the time...
so many personas
like shirts in the closet
they all work
depending on the mood
of the city
the house..
the little hood here..

Crazy from now till after christmas
the rush..the crush of traffic
everyone Zooming all over
and the weather closing in
and storms buffeting the
landscape

family times at the end were not
good at all...
we were smiling but inside we
were crying
and no one was giving in
stubborn all of us
even now

however..

Im away from it..
even though I cant dream
without portions of me
revisiting all of that

this writing is what I
longed for in a relationship
and this doesnt exist
not for ever..
the beginning
I dont want the
anything
just the other..

lah lah land

makes for great
poetry!

and is cathartic
as hell!!

Thank You!

we have our Teepees here....everyone travelled
sooner or later and shared their ways..

posessions are prizes....to be honored and kept
when others gift them...

I am not in want of anything
I give books away that Ive read..
library just keeps putting out all their old stock
to make way for what is wanted and
pursued now in this generation and time
it is the way..renewal..not an archive
forever ..but an active function building
rather then a tomb for the relics..

I did not chose the path I lived..the path chose me..
strange to look at it this way..
even the great indiscretions are experiences..

all theory is great
building perfection
is costly and with
great blunders..

thank you for the offer!