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Last Cigarette

Submitted by eightmenout on Fri, 2014-10-31 14:13

It was sexy and alluring, daintily tucked between her fingers
the paper slowly charring away to the naked glow of tobacco
the smoke rising in a perfectly random pattern
there was nothing more I wanted at the time
to feel that heat on my lips like a long slow kiss
the energy swirling deep in my lungs
the racing of the buzz about my head
I remembered that first drag with a longing fondness
and then I recalled the last puff coughing out of my mouth
and the stink of my clothes came racing back
the headaches, dry noses, stained fingers and teeth
the cravings and edginess
and I remembered you and it all felt the same
your last words coughing from my mouth
the stink of you on my clothes
the heartaches and sadness and the stains on my memory
how much I hated that I missed you
and I turned and walked away knowing
I had torched my last cigarette

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

China Blue

Sat, 2014-11-01 09:27

China Blue's picture
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This is perfect. I find nothing to sugest or change or correct. The comparison is new and fresh.

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

eightmenout

Sat, 2014-11-01 13:21

Thanks Chrys

Scott

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raj

Sat, 2014-11-01 15:16

I too found the comparison very interesting and creative....

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

eightmenout

Sat, 2014-11-01 16:56

Thanks Raj. Appreciate the time

Scott

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eightmenout

Sat, 2014-11-01 19:13

Thanks. You rock

Scott

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Esker

Sat, 2014-11-01 20:07

Esker's picture

High school....I remember a pretty woman ..a friend I knew
coming up and giving me a good full kiss....The people on
her bus to her town cheered! she had these big full lips
and great hair..a great body....crazy teeth and was controversial
but lived....wasnt shy...and wasnt a bully...tall...I was smoking...
she wasnt put off by the bitter poison......Blade Runner tops it all
and Rita Hayworth.....the femme fatales.....Long ago I had a beautiful
one sit across from me in the eve..snowflakes outside the window..
smoking her cigarettes and smiling and chatting with me...charming
and all the rest...put her cigarettes out on a tea saucer...eight of them
all crushed in the exact same way..smoked to the length....methodical..
I quit because of a woman and started with a woman again smoking..
The addiction is vicious and surly.....and the hit from its affects..
to those whom process it....cant describe it.......pure drug..
like love...no antidote!!

Why I greatly read this and relate
well to it all..

love hate......darkness
the light of its quality
captured in this poem

Thank You!

eightmenout

Mon, 2014-11-03 08:55

Thank you sir

Scott

author comment
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