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The Fat Black Cat Limerick WS

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Sun, 2014-11-02 01:00

*A little girl next door
went to the store
to get some candy
she saw a fat black cat in her path,
ran screaming out the door and in the grass boys laughed and rolled.*

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Workshop: 
Can you make a limerick serious?

Comments

weirdelf

Sun, 2014-11-02 21:02

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there is poignancy but the meter is really quite out. Do read some classic limericks out loud too get the feel of the comic musicality of the form.

This does not "sound" like a limerick
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/the-fat-black-cat-limerick-by

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Barbara Writes

Sun, 2014-11-02 23:58

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I heard the difference

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Barbara Writes

Mon, 2014-11-03 00:40

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I've listened to your limericks on the soundcloud. How is this?

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2014-11-03 00:49

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but it is a very good poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Barbara Writes

Mon, 2014-11-03 01:40

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I thought long was okay?

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

weirdelf

Mon, 2014-11-03 02:48

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https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/examples-of-limericks
I'm sick of saying it.
It's not AABBA, it is lyrics
read them aloud.
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/examples-of-limericks

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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