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Like it wasn't love

Submitted by Alice Ember on Mon, 2014-10-20 14:00

Everything is fading fast
While I beg for it to freeze
To slow down
To stop time
And let it all be

Why is this retreat so quick
No fleeting grasping hands
Or soft spoken words
Each second more separation
Between two that used to be one

There are no words left
No warm soothing touches
Just cold harsh air
Replacing where intertwined pieces used to rest

This seems to be the goodbye
That was never supposed to be
This is the loss we were
Never supposed to feel

Now you release me
Like we never were
Like you didn't hold my heart
In your rough calloused palms

And I watch you walk away
Like you're not still the love
Of my life

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Mon, 2014-10-20 14:22

Welcome back. Reading your poem is like listening to the honest beats of a heart in turmoil seeking peace akin to the turbulent waters of rapids flowing gently down stream and forming ripples from time to time. I feel you should be writing more than just once in a while.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Alice Ember

Mon, 2014-10-20 14:27

Alice Ember's picture

Thank you Raj, I appreciate the view. I happen to write all the time, I'm just going to be posting more often now.

author comment

raj

Mon, 2014-10-20 14:38

Alice from what you say you must be writing often but for some reason have been posting too few and far between. Good to know you would be posting poems more offen now on.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

alidzain

Mon, 2014-10-20 14:38

alidzain's picture

this is a good write on breakups. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing.

Lessons
it is when you're sick
that you realize the value of good health
it is when you lose something
that you see what you once had
it is in the grip of hunger
that you'll understand the starving
it is in defeat in trials
that you can learn your weakness
it is in heartbreaks
that you can learn to value true love
trials are a series of experiences
lessons to discover more about yourself
to be a wiser and stronger person
and appreciate the gifts God has given.

Alid

Ian.T

Mon, 2014-10-20 19:17

Ian.T's picture
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Time does not exist in love and many places I know.
I have 17 days in my soul that have lasted 36 years plus and those days are as fresh as the morning air.
Your write was as these memories, and a joy to read.
I hope to read more of your works as we carry on day on day.
We shall be an accumulation of our memories and life's experiences, these we write of when we can find the right words, or the mood takes us, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Alice Ember

Mon, 2014-10-20 20:35

Alice Ember's picture

Thank you everyone for your feedback and enjoying my work. I appreciate it highly.

author comment
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