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Do you see me?

What does time mean to me,
Or memories that are left behind.
They are the two points in my life
That separate what I knew then
and what I know now.

Have things changed since
My memories waned,
it has only been the seasons
That have traveled on winds
Of a passing rain.

The madness, of my youth
That brought the sweetness
Of a gentle embrace,
Tender lips and words I can’t
Forget.

YES! I am a product of my past,
Built on a mountain of memories
That make me who I am,
and linger on through my
Eternity.

Forget you, I think not, for you are
Part of the tapestry that was woven
In my past. So when I look at it,
I see you,

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
an old post.
Editing stage: 

Comments

nor I you,thank you very much!
always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

We never do forget.

YES! I am a product of my past,
Build on a mountain of memories
That make me who I am,
and linger on through my
Eternity.

Forget you, I think not, for you are
Part of the tapestry that was woven
In my past. So when I look at it,
I see you,

I agree with Shirley about the second stanza.

Thank you for sharing.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we all have our own tepestry, and right now my tapestry is woven with my friends at Neopoet.
thank you so much Buddy!
always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

made the change, as always i make these damn typos I have to pay attention when I re-read it. I hear the words I don't see them.
thank you again sweetie
miss you.oxox
always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

you on my screen
laps top i mean
and hope now you will again
be seen
on the scene
HOPEFULLY

loved

thanks for stopping by, it's appreciated
E.C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

How do u address me as LH
r u on triond too
www.triond.com
lovelyhoney 3900 poems in two years now

loved

Eddie,

really liked the lines:

YES! I am a product of my past,
Built on a mountain of memories

that was the strongest part of the write for me.

I liked the theme and where you took the poem.

I had a little issue with the last part of this stanza:

Have things changed since
My memories waned,
it has only been the seasons
That have traveled on winds
Of a passing rain.

I tried to visualise the winds of a passing rain. I couldn't.

How about:

Have things changed since
My memories waned,
it has only been the seasons
of passing rains
long traveled on the wind.

A quality final stanza by the way.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

How are ya doing? It's good to see you, and I hope
you and yours are all well and happy.

I'm going to point out something in this write that you
may or may not want to change, but you could maybe
use it in future writes ... personal pronouns and unneeded
connecting words ... I'm only going to address the first
stanza.

What does time mean to me, ( I would omit "to me")
Or memories that are left behind. (I would omit "that are")
They are the two points in my life ( "my")
That separate what I knew then
and what I know now.

Sometimes if you omit some of the personal pronouns
it not only allows the reader to be more involved in the
read, but it makes the impact much stronger, the same
with some connecting words, many can be left out when
you are editing a piece.

just suggestions ... I do like the poem, and where you went
with it.

Richard

Forget you, I think not, for you are
Part of the tapestry that was woven
In my past. So when I look at it,
I see you,

ur the unforgetable part of time
I am Time myself
but still u have forgotten

Loved STILL exists,
how can one ever forget Time

FOR I AM A TIME SPECIALIST
ask any one,
if not at least Shirley.

loved

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