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your beautifuller eyes....
O beauty thou art
when thy face half concealed
cometh out in the open
let all eyes see the beauty
that thou hidest
behind veiled covers
let me feel the vibrancy of thy countenance
as to the world thy beauty thou dost reveal
I am just a loner passer by
in the world of admirable beauty
can you now let your face reveal?
what lies ahead for me...
If you want to see me
through my eyes
then unveil my friend
your beautifuller eyes.....
love lies within my eyes...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Fri, 2014-10-03 13:34
Lovedly
As is said, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"...you have expressed that in your poem...perhaps you have omitted a word through oversight in the following line
can you now [let] your face reveal?
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Fri, 2014-10-03 15:16
raj
just brilliant bait
I was of two minds
fishing
but tis better now yes tis
thanks to you
Have you been to Niagara and Tremblant
two spots for honey mooners
even second ones/timers