Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

WORHLZIN

stretched like a yawn
her belly drawn
the yellow tallow sun
behind a torn tattered shade

we were blind
we were sated
we were awesome
struck in the degress
of humidity
climbing up the
walls from the grass
around the trees
the rusted escape
hanging on

the threads of cables
and wires
and dishes
and chimneys
full of clouds behind
them..

we were at port
at anchor
the dingy bed
full of us
the flies like
black glitter coal
sailing past
and we could
not care less

it was a moment
carved and healed
like the ember
touch
the foyer
we loved to haunt
reading issues
of New Yorker
Upside down
and playing footsies

we sewed ten dollar
bills in our hats
and avoided the sunlight
avoided combing our hair
like we were in turmoil

we were sane
the world was mad
and thats what made
us glad

we was melting
into the confusion
of the startled constellations
cast
of our kurio hock shop disco
ball
taking turns with a chain
and finding a floor joist

happiness of indian summer
stretching
like a yawn
in a clenched
fist

a battered kit
a saddened
smile
the velvet
velocity

the dark fire.

Editing stage: 

Comments

this sounds like a sailors tale of when he has come back from the sea where he has been for a while, and then the twilight place he is in where all things pass before his senses.
Just a small thing:-
.
and avoided the sunlight
avoided combing our hair
.
Would it be better to use another word for not wanting to comb ones hair than avoided or did you have a reason for the repeated word ???
I loved the read I am becoming use to your writing.
I very rarely read poetry though I have many books here on the subject, send you one if you would like?? Which poet do you like??
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

No i believe this is a youthful love story, well writen as only Esker could. Loved this, as i do most of your unique work. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

like density...........voracious
cold warm...them they and us..
and we..
and i

it is a story of youth and age
fiction..but the elements
of a storm front
something
something

just waking up..

both correct..

author comment

Indian summers hammer of heat . esker very good images and backdrop theme

I never went to college or a free lecture..
that was the others..I was in lowest level
school was better then sitting alone at home..

avoided..avoided...

its like chalk tapping the board
like saying check check on the radio

twin theory thing I am obsessed
with

mono stereo

and its also a command

i have issues with sarcasm
in reality..

avoided coming our hair..
its a twin front run
draws attention
and is a disregard for
rules

the characters are not homeless
but a carefree enough feel
affording a place

and the repeater word use is a hitch
that would show up in my earlier works
throughout
then it was rushed out
most of the works
this time im on it
aware and putting it in there..

now its as annoying as the hair
and no sun!
I wished I lived the life of the characters
im too inflexible to be unwound enough

if it was removed
i wonder about it..

this is the kind of thing a publisher
and editor would ask to change
and the earlier poets were
going over...

Neopoet has a great freedom
im only just starting to comprehend
and understand

an awareness also about poetry
as an art

Thank You!

author comment

comb your hair to go out...the rush..the panic
the anxiety..stress....

snap snap....

fingers....

..

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.