Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Untitled

Submitted by AnnaNJ on Fri, 2014-09-12 14:45

You have the expert hands of a concert pianist
and I want you to play up and down me
like the ivory keys of a baby grand.
Lightly.
Ever so lightly.
Feeling, learning every part of me.
And then growing in intensity.
Urgency.
Until reaching culmination.
Fill me with your music.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

alidzain

Sun, 2014-09-14 12:27

alidzain's picture

can tell me more about this poem? I think "Request" will be a better title for this poem but it is up to you. your call. On the whole, its a good write.

Alid

raj

Tue, 2014-09-16 00:24

Analogy of Piano keys used very effectively for a very sensuous and stimulating sequence without being too loud and not at all amorous. If you are searching for a suitable title do let me know,. In the mean time I will try to figure out something.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Ian.T

Wed, 2014-09-17 19:17

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Now you must listen to the ABBA song "Andante" it is as your poem lol.
One of theirs I love it is written with feelings as your piece,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.