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CACOON

CACOON

What does it take to kill the beast
that tears at my soul and fills
my heart with a dread unknown.
what metaphor sublime can push
my words beyond the bounds of language
and speak what only the soul knows
and what my mind dares not tell.
what music can my words play
to say all things hidden and forbidden.
How do I break the chains of this prison
and emerge one day on butterfly wings,

Editing stage: 

Comments

tis like a rebirth
in the form
from the cocoon
as a butterfly

hope some day
we will be same soon
skirting the flame
of life awaiting our turn
to burn
and smoulder in the flames
so as to avoid a final
summing up burn

Yes. You are right on all counts. Very wise.

author comment

This poem is so sad, full of agony and loneliness - you are so skilled as a poet, so precisely do you convey to the reader these raw emotions that there is an upwelling of tears. You have managed to express your inmost thoughts and pain - through the metaphor of this poem! "going beyond the bounds of language.." such is its depth!

"To me" the title is a gesture of hope - that something better is on its way!

Thanks for sharing your talent Joe!

Love Mand xxx

You read the poem with the deeper meaning it was meant to portray'.

love.

joe

author comment

loved this one! I am puzzled about where the meter is and am not sure what meter has to do with what is going on in this stage of the workshop. ???? ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I have to admit that I don't count meter. I just write to a certain cadence

Thanks,Gee
joe

author comment

You have nailed the essence of a tough topic with well-chosen words! I know of no one who could have done it better! Congrats, my friend!

Truth creates the hank words. I follow my mind's flow.

Thanks, Lonnie

author comment
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