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sorry and retort a re-thought!
Fundamentals of life
are just two
for me and you
first
if you are wrong
simply say
sorry!
but if you are dead sure
you are right
fight!
retort
till things you sort...
remember these two
and be happy
let the Lord take care of after life
in which who still believe
you too
okay do!
take care
not to please!
me
loved...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
mand
Mon, 2014-09-08 14:34
Wow!
Lovedly this is the best of yours yet! It's clear, precise, to the point and really good advice!
The only adjustments I would make would be: ( and it is only me )
retort till things are sorted......
let the Lord take care of "the" after life.
of course it's up to you! either way this is the best!
LOve Mand xxxx
lovedly
Mon, 2014-09-08 14:55
thanks for the pat
howz zat now tis!
when I compose
it's me only
a poet so lonely!
alidzain
Tue, 2014-09-09 05:40
simple
and direct. Good one.
Alid
lovedly
Tue, 2014-09-09 11:13
good and
thanks
Sheba
Wed, 2014-09-10 16:55
I have to agree with mand, I
I have to agree with mand, I like this very much. Friendship poems are my favorite, nice job.
lovedly
Wed, 2014-09-10 19:44
I read you
and thank you
you skipped my comment
so I did not again want to lament
you are a fresher here,
i know
but one who will
in leaps and bounds grow.