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Euphrates
He lays along the banks
Of the Euphrates
Among the dead and dying reeds
Centuries look among cities of stone
Down from heaven
Blackened wings envelope
Misery and retribution
His talons curve into the river clay
Displaying his hold on the earth
And its dying declaration
Shadows on the river converge
Conspiring amongst themselves
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
this was a struggle until 4 in the morning it happened in a minute, still needs work
Editing stage:
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Comments
club special
Fri, 2014-09-05 17:52
This was a struggle, then 4
This was a struggle, then 4 in the morning, in 1 min done , still rough
author comment