Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

MOTIVE

I find myself back here again
where most people seldom go
the kind of place where raccoons den
and muscadine vines soar and grow.

For late August the breeze is fresh
a sneak preview of coming fall.
Sun's scattered by canopy's mesh
whose looming height makes me feel small.

On this rare day knees barely hurt
yet habit makes my stride still shamble
along this trail of leaf and dirt
on this private forest ramble.

Fifty yards then a short rest
on an old stump or fallen log,
then watch a squirrel build its nest
in a poplar tree beside a bog.

Legs now rested I resume
just soaking in all that I see,
inhaling the late summer's bloom
within this place so wild and free.

Soon I reach a hardwood knoll
where wind tossed leave applaud my way
and I lean against a huge oak's boll
which sprouted long before my day.

Up here atop a small steep bluff
I survey a creek and its flood plain
which rains have cleaned of all the duff.
A dove repeats its sad refrain.

I spot a flicker on that other side
and that movement turns into an ear
then graceful antlers tall and wide
worn by a resting velvet deer.

So now I sit instead of lean
at the wide base of the ancient oak
amid this land of fading green
where scents sinuous as smoke.

My thoughts and dreams fly where they will,
different times and different places
from beaver swamps to a lone hill
all among the outer traces.

Three score years of fish and game
or simply trekking remote lands
even after I'd turned lame
through oaks, fields and tall pine stands.

These woods gave peace to troubled mind
and solace when I'd lost a friend.
Perhaps that's how they were designed,
to help me cope until My end.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

You brought me right into this, I loved it. Just a small suggestion; I would omit "like" in the line "where sylvan scents waft smoke"

Always good to see you around. I'll consider that line you mention a spell then see what I can do with it on edit. ........stan

author comment

I think we have a kindred appreciation for the refreshment that walking in natures sights, sounds and smells can bring! ( especially in late August ). You have alot of lovely lines here Stan! So vivid was your imagery that I felt as if I was walking alongside you and I enjoyed each sight, smell and the sound of tranquility - where thoughts mellow into calm!

Such a pleasure to read! ( I do agree with Janice though ) :) xx

Love Mand xxxxx

It would be great if we could really take a stroll in the forest together wouldn't it? We could then each write our own account of it and compare the two. Since you and Janice both choose to . like. beat me with "like" I reckon I'll Have to do something, like, about it lol.....stan

author comment

xxxx :)

If this is better....

author comment

But I prefer the original line without the "like" - the way Janice has written it down! Of course it is up to you Stan! Take no notice if you are happy with it the way it is!!

Love Mand xxxxx

The way Janice has it makes me think about a fairy type person names Scent smoking a cigar lol.......stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.