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Life
Spectrum of moments
refracting bleak and bright shades
fading in to white
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Comments
Leonard
Sat, 2014-08-30 05:26
Hi Raj
This is a fine piece. I like the way the lines flow into one another and the choice of words.
Cheers
Leonard Daranjo
"When the waiting stops, the living begins"
raj
Sun, 2014-08-31 00:54
Hi Leonard
Thanks for stopping by and your comment. Good to know you liked the flow and choice of words.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
mand
Sat, 2014-08-30 11:34
Hi RaJ
You sure are raising the bar with this one! Wow - I totally agree with Leonard. I think Barbara's work shop is going to be of a high standard!
Really good job!
Love Mand xxxx
raj
Sun, 2014-08-31 00:56
Hi Mand
Thanks for your visit and very generous comment. It has been a while since I posted something, in fact the first since visiting my son and daughter-in-law in Canada. Nice to know it worked out good enough.
Much love..,
raj (sublime_ocean)
wesley snow
Sat, 2014-08-30 11:39
This piece of minimulist poetry
is quite good. I have no suggestions on how to improve it.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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raj
Sun, 2014-08-31 00:57
Hi Wesley
Thanks for stopping by. Nice to know you find it quite good.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sat, 2014-08-30 13:33
you are going to be
one day a cynosure
of many an eye
that I do assure
your poetry enlightens me
more and more.....
what//who
am I to take such a decision
in the doldrums of poetic wisdom
I have no valid position
still I dare and say
my friend some day
one day
you will be what I do say
a prophet is always recognised
in a foreign land
now away from India in Canada you stand
now also my land!
raj
Sun, 2014-08-31 01:01
Hi Loved
Thanks for your generous comment and best wishes. I must confess though that I am still on a learning curve and have a long way to go. One thing is sure though that I am loving Canada, it's weather, nature, people. It is a great pleasure to have my evening walks too.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2014-08-31 03:10
don't miss ur country
it's there where you belong
a foreign country is foreign only
makes u run
any time
so enjoy ur walk
i cut grass!
but frankly tell me
will I ever be able to learn ?
Rula
Sun, 2014-08-31 02:57
Wow!
An amazing capture there raj. I couldn't think of anything to improve
I just wished those moments won't ever fade.
Great work!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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weirdelf
Sun, 2014-08-31 12:56
Excelellent write
I like to see scienctific knowledge incorporated in poetry. Many great scientists were also fine poets.
I question the use of he word 'fading' in the last line, if something fades it ends up black, not white.
Perhaps words akin to 'mixing', 'blending', morphing', 'transmuting, 'transcending'.
cheers,
Jess
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raj
Tue, 2014-09-02 23:53
Jess
Thanks for the visit and sharing your suggestion. I do agree with what you have said about outcome of fading in the scientific context. I wish to clarify that, here I had used "white" in the context of after life. Yet, your suggestion about changing the word "fading" and offering a few alternatives is appreciated and I am actively considering the same.
Thanks & regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Sun, 2014-08-31 21:30
when some thing fades
it just fades away
and merges into oblivion
which is actually
invisible
like gone with the wind
1. To lose brightness, loudness, or brilliance gradually; dim: The lights and music faded as we set sail from the harbor.
2. To lose freshness; wither: summer flowers that had faded.
3. To lose strength or vitality; wane: youthful energy that had faded over the years.
4. To disappear gradually; vanish: a hope that faded.
raj
Tue, 2014-09-02 23:54
Loved
Appreciate your visiting again and sharing your perception about fading.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Wed, 2014-09-03 00:32
thanks raj
what happened to my PM?
Lonnie
Wed, 2014-09-03 08:17
Nicely done, raj!
If more could be expressed in fewer words, I certainly don't know how! Your poem shows feeling, honesty, and a substantial backbone of wisdom that delivers a solid punch! Good write!
raj
Thu, 2014-09-04 02:34
Hi Lonnie
Thanks for your visit and your crisp and appreciative comment. Good to know you perceived a lot between those few lines.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Wed, 2014-09-03 10:10
Dearest Raj
what a lovely little poem, I cant see anything to suggest
you really captured a fine picture in my mind as I read this
beautifully done hun
love and hugs Jayne xxxxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Thu, 2014-09-04 02:37
Dearest Jayne
I really appreciate your taking time to visit this poem in spite of the fact that you are recuperating after a major surgery. Your comment is like tonic and would keep me inspired to learn and write more.
Take best care.
Much love, hugs and very best wishes to get completely well soon...
raj (sublime_ocean)