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--------------------s a t u r i t y----------------------------

we've arrived at our neutral dusk,
Dunes to wind-worn dust!
I taste a great salinity in each breath,
the camisole drenched in rosehip,
is warmed with lavender and love!

My precious bird whose wings
have touched the death of heaven,
have risen in the rumble of us,
(a sated hell)
I kiss the tender formulations of
the plans you drawl with a toe.
I die each wave that drowns that
epicurial sweet;
how we enamour and bask
this chilled low.
Our thigh against each.
Beneath the dark's arrival
slinking up around and through
our earthbound whole.

Editing stage: 

Comments

motion is like a drawl....fan dancer...ballet...
rosehip....somewhere too witchazel comes
to mind but thats another poem...
tired..put in punctuation though! a first..
always about love....
a troubled kind of place..
but worth noting....

author comment

This took my imagination far
I could rise with your bird.

But does heaven really die?

Some food for thinking.

And the PUNK SHUATION?

I bet it took some effort, but it is worth it.

Kudos!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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so many...deep down...and its either a lesson or pride or something
not of a truth.......false sometimes..
heaven always there...

the punctuation will pick up
im realizing why its important
even with free verse it can be included
it just helped me get this far
like growing

i can hold my thoughts longer
and not lose the poem
rushing them out like i did..

thank you

author comment

I may not have recognised this as your work.

Did you ever see the TV show "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis"? There is a character called Maynard G. Krebbs, a beatnik, who responds to the mention of the word 'work' much as I respond to the word 'discipline'- "EEEEEEEEEEEK". Work is not a bad thing and neither is discipline, and this work displays an unbefore seen discipline, and it works.

The feel, the tone, meaning and emotion all work at every level'.

It is a great joy to see a poet stretch their boundaries.

I hope my reading does it justice.
https://soundcloud.com/jess-tapper/s-a-t-u-r-i-t-y-by-esker

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

it had been years but the formality of it fell into place
and it works with the writing
i had left it out forever because i was writing
fast...the poems quick and if i stopped to think
then it was gone....now with all the work of writing
it out over and over i can put in the proper usage
so that others may find the breaks that i feel but
cannot convey as each reads..as each interprets...
and thats what the writtten form is about
so that others.....just like written music can play
this in their eyes and ears......it is the whole portion
of language....
even if one can play freestyle or freehand by "ear"
not all conduct their works this way.....and as poets
we all have our style and voice unique and beautiful!

thank you...shall go have a listen!

author comment

i can even see a difference in the sound spikes and spacing from unpunctuated works...
you read very well mr Tapper.....thank you!

author comment

This is a gorgeous poem - the imagery takes my breath away! just beautiful.

Love Mand xxxx

all of it contrived from the muses....moments of that intimacy
that feeling.....crafted into a general acceptable real persona
that im relating too..but maybe in reality it is i that is developing
a more real persona then the immaturity i hold fast too still..
writing it is a way of having it in form....i still have to let go
its just easier this way......the formality i love.....ha for now..

just tired....the ego wears down....

thank you!

author comment
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