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Don't cry babe

This is a beautiful
crying piece....
it has taken away
all her peace....

she alone is to blame...
but both have a partial game....
they dwelt in some others arms...
Oh what a shame-----

man can enjoy any number of women...
but can't tolerate another one...
eying his woman.....

now they both must keep
secret liaisons aside.....
and
with a firm mind decide.....
they will not go for another ride...

beside or side by side....
they alone can
over this decision preside...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

is that a joke, irony or a comment on the hyposcrisy of human sexual double standards? It doesn't work for me any way in context.

This could be a more powerful piece on sexual mores if more explicitly stated. Nonetheless, almost a gem, well written, a flawed stone rather than a gem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

so nice to hear from you... but why so softly ?
This poetry as you rightly say,
is a consequence of infidelity like
'''Secret Liaisons'' ,
you must have seen ..

Wasn't likely to draw your attention
but glad it did .
some guy will polish it up... hopefully
and convert a flawed stone
into a crystal...
maybe
thanks and regards

You are a wonderful person,Jess
a rare breed
of the cross section of human modernity
Hope you are better.
don't lose your hammer!
Bang the evil......

author comment

Even the instruments of the gods need balance and my dwarven mechanic assures me that Mjölnir's chlthlonic capabilities are creating chaos in the cosmos of catasrtropphic proportions,

Now that would not be nice,

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Mjölnir is Thor's war hammer.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I have written a gem just now
which has been read elsewhere instantly by countless and liked it too

Can i pm to ur for pre-edit post
else wait another 23 plus hours
stream line
ur Command sir
is my wish

author comment

to cheat the 23 hour rule.

However feel free to PM me a poem for editing.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

All my life I have never cheated
but in blogs i keep for next post after 23 hours plus and quote '' await///hold on //in waiting
rarely they r read
Nonetheless I have removed all
including and odd one still read

hope you will amend/remove the above black mark

author comment

Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.

Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.

Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

-The Big Chill (1983)

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

understood at all
why here

author comment
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