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Small rivers flow

I am a small river
in the midst of this vast universe

so I needn't compare myself with you
nor your verse

but remember friends we can be
at best at worse
till we both with the ocean immerse
and

are lost in the oblivion of time

none shall know what happened
to your ashes or mine
time alone will reveal
some day two jokers you and me
had laughed a while this way

so till then in the hearts
of remaining mankind
let me stay
you be the bigger one
so stay away
in a world far from us and

far, far and further away

love some day will see
thee
in your heart
but twill be
by then a history long passed
sung by to conceited souls
I have reached my goal
you have a long way to go.

suit yourself till we meet
in the glory of our self
man made retreat

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

an interesting poem.

Alid

for ur interest

author comment

the start of this piece, needs attention, there you are a small stream, yet the others are missing as there you are on your own in the universe.
I tell you, you, are not alone, there are many streams and rivers you may meet, on this pathway.
Take care out there,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

we are writers, poets and word lovers.
Let's hope our words will touch the hearts and the ears of many before we pass.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

in humour we should not lack
but if you really object
I may subtract do say

author comment

Then I discovered gems in your work.
Now I love you and your sense of humour.
Forgive me if I still hold you in some suspicion. You know why.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I sent one to you for an edit
wasn't it worth it
you haven't yet returned it

Now about this version and your conversation.
I was naught without your conversion
and my devotion
and you it well that
there was no aversion
at least from my side
where on Neopoet could I ever hide
hadn't you Jess,
been by my side.

I salute you for your magnanimity
what a pity
we can't meet
you are an Aussie
and I in far, far unknown universe

I wish thee well
I know you don't like
thee, thine and thy, stuff
and I can't say why

but without you I can't try
to post another one and why
about that should I lie?

You are the only one
who played football
but played a fair game
all this while

now I don't cry
as no tear comes into my eye
and I can't say why

continue to bless me do try!
Regards we shall converse
as long as we last
in this universe...

author comment

sorry for the delay. These days I review with priorities on 1. new members, 2. members I know well and wouldn't miss 3. Poems that catch my interest.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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