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Tanka: Love Spans

Love makes friendships grow
In the span of a few years
When poets unite.

Love covers imperfections
Strengthens touch or word spoken.

Editing stage: 

Comments

I hope all is well with you! I love the sentiments you have written here! I recently wrote a haiku and was told that, although I had the right syllable count I needed to work on the form - so I'm not totally familiar with how to write a haiku / senryu as it should be written. But "from what little knowledge I have" your senryu looks good. I will come back later to see other peoples comments - ( I'd be interested to see what others say! ).

Love Mand xxxxx

Thanks I appreciated your concern. It's been a while hearing from you on Neopoet. I'm not as well as I used to be as my MS progresses. I still carry on as normal as I can. The friendships I've cultivated here keeps me doing what I can to help others as best I know. I designed the Renga workshop for this purpose. That is help those who want to better understand 4 forms of Japanese better.

I just closed and posted the collaborately written Japanese poetry form Renga on the stream Title: Renga 9 "Hatred's Legacy" http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/renga-9-hatreds-legacy. 10 poets share a senyru for this poem.

I lead a Renga that was designed specifically for Haiku. Here's the link: http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/renga-pool. This workshop consisting of 5 poets explains and shows the difference between a Haiku and a Senyru.

A link to the Renga poem that's all Haiku. http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/neopoets-renga-7-spring-renga-splash.

Hope this help better familiarize you with Haiku poems.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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You are a mine of information! Muchly appreciated

Love Mand xxxx

Glad I could help

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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Good to see you back. I was wondering where you have disappeared..lol. I hope the issue your hubby had with someone hacking his bank account has got resolved. Looking forward to see you posting again.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Those double post lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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My hubby got $450 drain from his bank account for total of 3 days after we got home. We were on our Caribbean cruise to the Virgin Islands in 2011. He got it all back eventually but it was stressful because the bank and police thought he was in on a scam to fraud the bank .

Shockingly, because he told the bank he would be gone for 8 days and he would not be here so, nothing would be drafted from his account. And they still allowed food lion to draft his account for $25 and $50.00 cash at a time. A manger got fired and went to jail. She went to school with my 25 yr. old daughter. Before she went to jail she set up my daughter's boyfriend on another stolen check fraud against my older sister's dad because she could not link him as the person who gave her the stolen checks.

The bank finance associate said only someone in management would have authority to do that because a cashier would need approval for that amount and more likely not get it. She had it pre-approved for hold until his direct deposit came in a day after we got home because he emptied his account until the next payroll. Which would only come in a day after he got back home.

For three days after we got home $25 and $50 in threes kept coming in before bank could stop it. Harrowing experience. Me being the paranoid, computer geek kept an eye on my account while in the Caribbean. He was irate because I acquired internet on the cruise ship and post pictures to FB. Lol.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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Good to know that your hubby got back the amount. A lesson to be learnt from such experiences is that in this modern world one has got to be careful with internet banking which has a flip side to it. Thanks for sharing this experience which would help others to be cautious.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Yes, you never think you would get your paycheck stolen electronically while on vacation.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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and I thought I had problems! Shesh - what a headache - and while you were on holiday. Urrghh

They knew we on vacation cruising the seven seas for 8 days. Yep a big headache for him because we were separated and living apart at the time and he had removed me from his bank account. So the police and bank theory that I had something do with it it was crazy. Bc I was on the cruise with him.

He originally planned without me after 18 yrs of marriage poor mouthing, but his cabin partner died and I got to take his place. Serve him right planning a cruise with his friends after we separated. I had no friends but on Neopoet.

Those single females looking to date him on this cruise got a big disappointment. I was sick and in pain the whole time, but had the time of my life alone shopping all the store I desired, drinking all the drinks I wanted, hanging out on the deck, dancing with my cane in hand while he hang with the group of about 20. Half were single and flirting.. Didn't care, I just let them know he worked hard making this money and if they got any that'd be less for me. A couple bold ones told me I wasn't right bc I told him and them no he wasn't lending them a dime.

These ppl actually got mad when he had to go pay the guy pushing me in the wheel chair across the thing to St. Thomas Island bc I couldn't walk that well... I'm like "we still married" and shut her mouth down fussing at him for not going to look for her sister and the other ladies who didn't follow direction and got left behind. They found their way eventually holding up the tour guide.

Lol my life got lots of drama sometime

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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All is well - bank was sorted! Glad to see you - hopefully I'll stay a bit longer! he he

Love Mand xxx

really miss you here. How are you doing? Hope everything is well.Can't wait to read your poems and have your feedbacks on mine.

Alid

I'm looking forward to visiting one of your poems! will do so "before the day is out" hopefully!

Mand xxx

I thought this is a tanka!

Alid

lol now I gotta change it on my Facebook page.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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As Mand has commented, I liked the sentiments expressed by you in this Tanka. Just a suggestion, you might want to change "Strengthen" to "Strengthens" which still would not affect the syllable count.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

another good tanka. I really like it as is, but how about changing "poets" to "people" for example, don't you think would make it universal.
I thought love should spread further than where the pages and the quills of the poets meet.

But still you can discard it if you see it differently.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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People would be just as good but change the poem meaning. I specifically related this to the friendships here among the quills and pages of poets here.
A poem that reflect a universal love would have a different meaning.

Love universal to me is a lost hope in this world. Especially with what happening now. Ppl say one thing do another. For example; ppl say "I want justice" but go above and beyond to bring injustice. Ppl say
"I want peace" but do everything in their power to bring unrest.

Love makes friendships grow
In the span of a few years
When poets unite.

Love covers imperfections
Strengthen touch or word spoken.

Love makes friendships grow
When people unite races
In a universal span.

Love frigid as the Arctic
Among masses of people.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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