still not clear on the job of a trickster...
shape shifter and all that..
and mysterious..

cards were set..this is the king...this is the queen..this is the jack
this is the ace..this is the joker...only one or two? and what did
they do? they seem to be a more complex ancient game
but they were a part of the court...

read up on all of this...cards....i cant do numbers but
cyclic things im strangely on at times..
probably like a lot of people..
we are predictable in our patterns..

i leave it open so people can adapt it..
use it.....initiator..fuse...delay...contact
words that mean mind and thought connection
and in other contexts something else..
language is a mystery..
i had a hard time understanding it in school
still do...test questions killed me and no math
the cards..yes..math is a blur....cant add count
subtract for any kind of work that requires this
which is everything.....
tried and tried and tried and nothing..
never going to happen

even the poet business is a tough go.
because i dont do workshops
or rime or beat stufff put in all the right
instruments....those dot things and dashs..hooks
i am realy really tired...

im looking for something and when i push myself
the ideas come to me...via the random or
magic or god kind of thing...chance meetings
like cards..back to that because a lot of people
play this game.

faces.the red queen..the black queen and then
shapes..

ike tarot and power...i believe in spirits
tarots frighten me and so do seers..and mediums
i believe in them...peoples eyes....some are
pretty and wonderful and some are pretty out there..
dark...

i dont know much
i see i missed so much
with not being able to sit still with the add
and all the rest.

but the pushing sleep
i can keep the mind cycling
and do more then if i was rested
chasing a dragon
or maybe my tail
i never know

glimmers and gleams come through
people come and go.
the weather..happenings..
peace..and excitement

its pretty hip ..and all the while
my costumes i like to wear
are pretty cool...i dont know
what is a favourite thing..
it all feels like work clothes..
i climb through the bush in my
expensive leather jacket
because it can rain
its dark
it has pockets that are
designed with no flaps
nothing revealed
like a stealth design
spy design

north american designs
are so streamlined
to the point of vulgarity
now....
the primordial existentialism
now theres a combo that
is far far apart..but is it.

im looking for something
not sure what...
feel like im going upriver
for years and years...
like the white whale book

never sure rula..
and i keep writing
stories..
open like cards with no numbers
different colors meanings..
symbolism i can relate
too pattern recognition
that kind of delve...

how to put that in a kind of
poetry is much because you
only have the written word
.

the comments are the story
to the poetry..
thats the magic for me here
reading and what not..
i just am so frazzled
after a day of just on the go..
even dog walking we are
steady moving
on the move..move move..
we know our scent moves
everywhere on the wind
like an animal on its own
thats how i think when im on
the trail...other people i talk
too think about nothing
about home cooked dinner
and where they are meeting
for dinner and if the tickets
came in...

not me...

poetry...just stay on poetry
and write so everyone
can attatch their hand
cards...ideas..thoughts.
and to think about what
a new poem they can right..
its why we are here isnt
it ...rather then just put
it on hardrive and run
the gauntlet of rejection
and tidying up to present
it in a book...

its great....it inspires..
but its one sided..
and i have depression
i like the rabble rousing
here very much

this is a home too
cause i get lonely too
like everyone else
and ive never really
had a home that i felt
was home like

and this place is...

thank you