Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Yesterday

Yesterday,

I've witnessed the strength of love.
My father rode his old bicycle every morning,
heading to the nearby field where he'll labored,
doing odd jobs, toiling for the whole day,
ignoring his aching back to feed his family.

When our food is too little for everyone,
my parents faced hunger willingly
while they filled their children's empty bellies.
When any of us fell ill, they'll took turns
to care for the weak at night,
sacrificing many hours of sleep.

I learnt the meaning of tolerance
when they taught me to fast.
They told me one who don't know hunger
will have too little compassion for the poor,
yet they never forced me to fast the whole day,
just enough for practice for children of my age.

I embraced the meaning of honor
when my parents insisted on being truthful
even when the truth really hurts.
They told me to be honest and sincere
because the worth of a man lies in his heart.

They taught me to shower all that live
with love, respect and kindness,
They urged me to aid the needy,
to be the best that I can be,
They nurtured me to be a real man..

I understand what is dedication
when my father braved the rain
to attend religious classes
and shared his wisdom
to his own students, showing me
the value of knowledge...

I saw the truth about happiness,
that one don't need to be wealthy to feel joy.
My family lived in a house with a leaking roof
on a lowland which will flood when it rained
and yet we were never short of laughter.

I am who I am today
because of what I've learnt yesterday
and I thank God for the wonderful memories
every single day.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Memories of a parent's sacrificed is sacred. You done well displaying them in this poem. I've no crit at the moment. Will you again.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

for the visit and kind words. It's what I aim to do in this poem.

Alid

author comment

A wonderful piece for the honour of your great parents, that you now look after them or those that are still with us means that there are people that hand down wonders to their children and their children nurture them, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I hope I can continue to look after mum and the family for as long as I can. It's more than a duty to me. Its how I love and how I wished to be loved, with every beat of my heart. This is how I honour them, how I say thank you with my actions.This is how a family is supposed to be. I want this to be my legacy. Love is, after all the greatest gift in this world..Thank you for the visit and the comments.

Alid

author comment

Your perception of a God will send helpers to you in many forms as you are worthy of them being at your side.
I hope that you know that they there and are tireless and will be there for you for always.
Give my best thoughts to your mother and just tell her that there is a host looking after her.
Thank you Alid it is an honour to know one of Earths Angels,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I never strive to be an angel but I hoped to be the best man that I can be and I hope that will be enough. Doing the right thing is not always easy but I'd rather face it than take the easy way out, only to regret when I bear the consequences of my own folly.
By the way, mum send her regards to you as well.

Alid

author comment

If I may offer one small crit it is that it would add more power if you showed a little more of the undoubted physical pain and deprivation, these can not be denied by the undoubted deeply spiritual love and care of your parents.

It also reads a bit like prose. The best three best possible sources I can recommend to learn about effective use of poetic techniques are "The Ode Less Travelled" by Stephen Fry, "The Poet's Manual and Rhyming Dictionary by Frances Stillman and, of course, Neopoet.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I'll take note of that. Will check on them later.

Alid

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.