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Limitation of Emotion

Cells were closed off,
Charred on the outside fresh on the in.
A wall of non-energy surrounded my skin.
Gut was disconnected from the cognitive,
No feeling not living.
My biological imperative,
To wonder why there are stars at night.
Feel a sense of peace, looking on,
even release of fright.
Feeling is the weight in every decision,
Giving meaning to orbital vision.
Morbid attrition incorporate in wisdom,
Reminder; of the limitation of emotion.
The blank page you can never write.
The length of time since you’ve cried.
The sound that makes you wish you’d died.
That song that never sounds right.
A thought, leaning against the intangible,
Waiting for the signal to let go,
It won’t though.
A reason we believed in gods and heathens,
When we thought the stars were heavens.
Why we developed nuclear weapons,
Gauge weight in vapid treasures.
Emotion is useless without cognition,
The Cognitive corrupts our use for feeling.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This is a revision of a first draft. I have attempted to ensure a consistent poetic. The use of conjunctive and disjunctive sentence structure, or at least in terms of linking ideas and concepts is intentional, as the poem is intended to change feeling as it progresses, building and releasing at different junctures. A mix of the claustrophobic with the freeing.
Editing stage: 

Comments

We live in a world filled with fear, but those fears are what keep us alive. if we had none, we would be dead.
When we are younger our fears are, for some the buggy monster, or rather to say what is hiding under the bed or in the closet. We out grow these, but pickup new more real fears. The fact that someone told us about the monster when we were young, was were we learned of fear. So it is ironic, that later we pick up fear, but yet they are a greater manifestation of our original fears, but we do not recognize them for what they are. Our cognitive thoughts are a combination of both.
I like this write, because you touch on the tricks we play with ourselves in our own mind and create from the outside which we let in. Well not all, but the ones that we can see a correlation with those of our youth in the subconscious. Great write in prose.

it is all ego and fear as Sigmund Freud put it.

Thanks for sharing your experiences
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Thanks Eddie, I'm glad you connected with it, and also added an interesting psychoanalytic summary connecting to the cognitive. You sparked an idea for how I may be able to tweak it, I'm going to play with that today.

Have a good one,

Bloke.

BF

author comment

In reality it was you who sparked these thoughts. everything is already in your write. Sometimes we have to step away from what we wrote to look at it from a different prospective. The prospective that was already in our head, but we are so busy writing and worrying about how we can get it across to the reader that we lose our prospective. When I write I just write I don't think about the grammar or nothing else, I just let it flow. later I trim it down and get rid of the consequential. Ten stanzas become five, but I then know that I have emptied my mind. writing is therapy for the insane...

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

very solid initiative

I can't agree with all your ideas.
Emotion and cognition are not polar opposites. The true genius combines them.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I agree with the idea of combining emotional intelligence with cognitive intelligence. Indeed Einstein is a great example of that. As I revise the poem, what I would like to convey is the beginnings of that journey. What it's like to think about the confrontation of it. With honesty, this was written immediately after what would be known as a psychological breakthrough, in which I broke through a barrier of disassociation and the world opened up. At first it was claustrophobic then it was freeing. Although with the freedom of thought I began to make the connection where emotion and cognition are a battle within some. I am working on writing a follow up to this, once this poem has been revised a number of times of course, that would describe the amalgamation of the two, and the beauty and exuberance it can provide, under the umbrella of fear that can accompany a new journey, or path, in life. Your input would be much appreciated Elf.

BF

author comment

Great revisions, turns it from prose to poetry.

A few stanza breaks would improve its readability and enhance its content and meaning

The last two lines suck and detract from the overall message.
Emotion is useless without cognition, [true]

The Cognitive corrupts our use for feeling.
or
Cognitive alone corrupts our use for feeling.
or
The Cognitive alone can corrupt our use for feeling.

just some ideas.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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