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Athiest fey

Poetry is death to me
When the world is gray
I can not see
Anything but fey.

Fey is knowing death
Powerless to change
A final grief or breath

It may change with time
this lonely path of mine
Shows me only pain
but I can't deny my brain

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Comments

The tone is bleak and sad but there is a glimmer of hope in the tone with the line' it may change in time'.

The 'atheist fate' as in having no faith in the future is where the outlook becomes bleak...Life imitates art imitates life...I get it.

Love the use of the word 'fey' not used enough in common parlance these days!

So missing your fun- side Jess, but I know from personal experience you've got to work it out in your own time.

Ells x

even in my darkest moments that cheeky elf pokes his elegant nose in,

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

This is a contradiction to what you say, on the one hand you are stating that you are an Atheist, and correct me if I am wrong (Of course you will) but you have said some place that you are a Shaman.
Shamans are intermediaries or messengers between the human world and the spirit worlds, so to believe this they are Spiritualists.
All Spiritualists believe that our driving force the Spiritual being which in our forms is just an energy pattern.
Physics prime factor, Energy can be used, changed, but never destroyed, it is eternal.
Now get your thinking head on and realise that there is a world out there that is full of all the things you have thought, or the ones that have left this physical world. They are eternal..
I have through my Children, only been shown a tiny part of their world, and I rejoice at their ways.
Really Jess if your Atheist feelings only bring you pain then go seek out the truth, that may exist only in the minds of other beings.
You need to go on a journey of thought, but not where you are, I would love you to go and talk to the Hermits, Aboriginal old people, Buddhist monks, in fact anyone outside of that cave of yours..
Still Liked the write more of a scream of "what am I though"..
"I see you Jess" and it's about time you found a perfect mirror,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Prayer is a comfort, though I never mistake it for an unrequited dialogue with a fictional being.

There is pain in ignorance and uncertainty, to me infinitely less painful than self-delusion and lies.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

I felt the tremendous sadness that goes with this write, I tried to find anything to crit but I cant
that ending is killer I felt all of this poem ... black over black

regards JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

'that last line was a forced rhyme. With work it should say-
There is pain in ignorance and uncertainty, to me infinitely less painful than self-delusion and lies.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

There is pain in ignorance and uncertainty, to me infinitely less painful than self-delusion and lies.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

so sad but lovely write

Sorry I didn't reply to your kind and thoughtful comments. I was in a dark place and didn't feel up to it at the time.
Thanyou.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

Why the hell can't you realise that here in this wide world there are many people that love you for what you are and will always be.
They will talk to you at any time and as a lot of us are in the North, then most of your nights can be lit by them just caring for you and talking.
I am here each day from around BST 08-00 to 09-30 then from 23-00 till you would want to let me sleep.
It is I know hard for you to ask anything of us, but from me it is given without thought, I have been to dark places with a few people and sometimes I thought that I didn't switch the light on but I am still here.
"F" it man you know how much we care,
Yours as always Ian, and the children.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(that;s morse code, not a weird emoticon)

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

..

I hope you read more into it than I intended, that is a great compliment to any poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

I am confused and going through a lot of re-evaluation of my beliefs

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

only defines what one does not believe in, a supreme
being or beings. I prefer to explain it like this, I'm an
atheist and feel that IF there were a being that could
create THIS, this universe and its never ending infinity,
it certainly wouldn't be one of the jealous Gods that have
been accepted by man so far in our short term evolutionary
period. Religions tend to exclude others, all others that do
not believe in their doctrine. Most Atheist know we are all
of the same spark and therefore face the same fey, not grim
or sad, but it can weigh you down at times.

With you all the way, brother.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

I wouldn't want to feel that way. Lol The sadness you portray and bleak outlook for the future is well written. I can feel the dying spirit here. Why not try the living spirit.:-)? Lol

World religion is hopeless, hope for a better life and world is real, the living spirit that builds us up to carry on another day is life giving. Me being positive as this poem is a real downer. Perk up.

Poetry is life to me
When the world is gray
I can not see
Anything but fey.

Fey, the knowledge of death
Powerless to change
A final grief or breath

It may change with time
But this atheist fate of mine
Shows me only pain
Again and again

I didn't change anything I just wanted to see if one world will remove the gloom of intimate death from my minds eye lol
I think the poem Itself is a brilliant write. the subject is well define.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

fey and atheism?

Let's just say I am trying to express my grief in any way I can.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

You accomplished your goal with this poem lol..

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

the last line should mean-
There is pain in ignorance and uncertainty, to me infinitely less painful than self-delusion and lies.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

I like your use of the word "fey" here; its connotations conflict with your atheism very nicely, and gives this poem a great dichotomy that, to me, underscores the pain of being freed from belief.

Excellent. I wish I knew how you guys pack so much punch into so few words!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

use less words, but make them count.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

is because I grew up with 5 sisters and a mother, all strong outspoken women, and a largely absent father. So whenever I could get a word in edgewise in a conversation I had to make it count!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

We're you the youngest?
Fantastic piece of work
French

The youngest, Patience who has Downs Syndrome, is still a strong determined woman, as blind people hear better, so mentally handicapped people learn to emotionally manipulate better.

And thank you.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

6 children 1 downs, sounds like a lack of contraception as recommended by the Catholic Church

brought up in the Church of England which I fairly quickly rejected.
Not a lack of contraception, the Patriarch kept trying for a son. Patience was a contraception error and let me tell you honestly, if she had been presented the pre-knowledge and the choice, my mother would have aborted Patience, and saved Patience and us all a lot of pain.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

Our environment makes us what we are despite our genes. Have you written your hard hitting life story yet?
French

and it will be the biggest lie I have ever told. No-one would believe the truth [grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

it.s been a while. Last we talked you had an idea for a workshop, I can't remember what. I even recruited people to work with you on it.

Come and go as you please, I respect you for it, but if you want to commit to something, do it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

it was incongruous with myself as it was. Yet it more precisely spelled the despair I was feeling.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

I recognise the twee factor and embrace it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment

Thanks to whosoever pulled this poem out from the archives. I must be honest in saying I haven't read the comments of others before me. All I can say is "after life" is the most mysterious phase of energy. If one assumes the physics principle that one form of energy transforms into another form..one needs to be optimistic about to draw on the lines of a popular song " Ke Sarah Sarah, what will be will be" ..since death is the ultimate truth..in my personal view it would alleviate the pain factor if one can count on what i believed to be...which is that pain is the next progressive phase of pleasure...

Aethist or not...i believe that there is a supernatural force governing life in the universe...may be it's that power which makes me post this comment ..lol..

Regards..

raj (sublime_ocean)

That is all we are, re-cycled stardust. That is the only continuance. All religion is a fear of death, superstition.
F.E.A.R = Forget Evidence and Reality.

that is all we are and it is enough.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

author comment
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