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Faith In My Innocence

Faith In My Innocence…

In Gaza they die, while the vileness
of religion still has breath,
mothers who are treated like shit
under the shoes of the male ask why.
No answer does any man, or man
made god have for their death.

We stand back and cheer our leaders,
into number ten, a palace or
white house.
Are we always to be used collectively
as war meat breeders, or singularly as
the timid little mouse.

Where have our giants flown,
are we so tiny as to be unseen.
Have we no courage on our own,
while they style up so sheen.

Let no other die for that lie, in our the sky…

Why doesn’t the real might of
the nation rise,
are all men of worth neutered
while young.
Can it be only the wealthy,
who are wise,
or do the poor have yet a
song unsung.

If so let it echo from highest
vantage point,
so we all hear how justice
can sound.
Let us no other false kings anoint,
perhaps this new found innocence
can astound.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Their still dying for that deception....
Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked the theme and the title fits it because it is about "innocence" which truly has been compromised leading to scaling up of war and crime ....i could also hear your shout / appeal about something needing to be done and urging the innocent folks speak up than just remain silenced ..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you raj, yes something needs to be done but what. I believe if all citizens demanded more from a countries leaders, they could pressurise ie Israel and Hamas to commit to peace. But there seems to be an attitude of it's not in my back yard. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

all sublimate into this important work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you Jess, i really feel for the ordinary people in middle east. It's as if they have been at war for ever. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I will seriously begin to worry when the government puts loads of money into prisons, dementia cures, and for making the courts throw out files on abuse and expenses.
Mind you they aren't doing to bad on most of those systems.
Liked the protest, reminds me of a voice crying in a vast wilderness if no one hears, is the voice there at all, lol,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- the Middle East is there any of those countries that has not had a war yet.
Religion is still the main cause, and the inability of the UN to do anything.
Why do we pay for a UN it is like a dog barking at a leopard???

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

It is very bad form, impolite and destructive to the purpose of Neopoet, which is to critique. So I apologise in advance.

However I must take exception to your use of the word "rant" in respect to this thoughtful, intelligent and important poem. I might even have overlooked it except your own analysis was shallow and un-informed. For most of time religion has been an excuse for war to steal other nation's resources.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Ok it was a well constructed protest, maybe you use the word rant in another way, so I have exercised my right to remove it , Take care young Elf I still love you all, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

rant to me means a long, meaningless yet passionate monologue.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you Ian, fortunately i'm not alone with my feelings, there are plenty of people who feel the same way. Unfortunately they don't get the same coverage from the media as the corrupt politicians in this world. Media and politicians they seem to be born from the same school chums.. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I love the theme and what you are saying here.. This is written straight from the heart. Thank you for sharing.

Alid

Thank you Alid, if only we could get more people to listen. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

If you could use your sentence structure in a poetic line you'd really have something.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Thank you Wesley for your comments, please let me know what you think of my structural changes. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Important message here and I agree (which means
it's right lol). I just wish they could come to terms there,
allowing each other to live and thrive.

thanks for the poem,

Richard

If only, but for some people peace is only a dream. Thanks for reading. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

I despair of there ever being peace over there. But not for religious reasons but rather because too many groups there lust for power at any expense. And these same persons when given even a small amount of power turn intolerant of those who refuse to march in lockstep behind them. Moses is revered for leading the Jewish people out of the wilderness. Where now is the person history seek for leading an entire region out of the wilderness of hatred and war?

Now to the poem lol. I think you forced rhyme a bit with the lines containing unseen and sheen.................stan

If we get peace we may challenge those who lead, as long as they have the fear factor they believe they have us. And where will the arms dealers sell their bullets and bombs. Thanks for reading Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

They seldom earn the title 'meme' but this co-option of the NRA slogan does-
"Gods don't kill people,
people with gods kill people"

AS always, love your work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

People kill people with or without belief, the only sad thing is people who believe in gods have killed millions more than those who don't. Those with belief are urged on by power brokers so wealthy that they can afford not to believe, and be safely out of the killing zone. But i got you're reason for sending this. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

have killed millions too but that is another form of religion, the "Cult of Personality". Their abuses stemmed from the totalitarian leadership of those such as Stalin and Mao.

I get your reasons.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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