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When She's Away

When She's away
I can smoke in any room
or leave washing-up
in the sink for days.

I feed forbidden titbits to our dog
and watch it come alive.

I fall asleep on the sofa late at night
with the T.V. turned up high,
listening to repetitive news
or the latest music videos,
or watching naked girls with phones.

I don't even go to bed.

When She's away I miss her
like half my life,
but I invite alcoholic friends to lunch,
challenging myself to have
just two or three drinks.

Our conversation's bawdy
and we emit guffaws
too vulgar for a lady's ears.

And later I try to write poems
in the cool wee hours till dawn
and wallow in self-centred-ness.

Editing stage: 

Comments

and a warm ( I am always late :) ) welcome to the Neo.
I like this. The title drew me in, you know how women are always curious to know more about her fellow "She" (((smiles)))
I really like the mood of this and how honest your emotions flow with your lines.
I can depict HER positive role in your life, and though you feel free in her absense, yet, you miss her.
My only suggestion for this is to decapitalize the She. I know you want to emphasize her, but remember, she is already there.She is the lady of your poem and as I see of your heart.

Capitalization is always a shout when used on the net.
Keep it up!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I used capitals to emphasize her importance, her almost godlike presence in my life, but I take the point that they may be too loud. Before changing it, however, I think I'll wait to see if anyone else comments on this question, either in favour or against. Or perhaps I'll compromise and use "She", as befits a goddess.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

regards!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Its better to have a SHE than not have a she

as once we get used to her she knows she controls she holds she has the keys and we all submit as we want that the most when she is away we miss her sweet say have a nice day go solo but we don't like to and so call friends for sexy guffaws and miss her like hollow and when she comes we all love to her absence and all that swallow where is she we wonder all alone and does she also miss the He in me I wonder well this time I'll ask her...

u have conveyed the essence of absence

with this write. At present I find myself in a constant tension between missing HER and enjoying new-found freedom. My bachelor friends make fun of me of course by telling me that I'm at last "off the leash" etc. but I know they're often lonely too, even if they can do "lo que les sale de los cojones".
Best wishes,
Robert.
P.S. Incidentally, my father-in-law told me on the day I married his daughter to say "yes" to everything and then do "lo que te sale de los cojones" but I never really managed to put that into practice...

author comment

I placed a placard at my entrance gate
''I AM THE MASTER AND THE LORD OF MY THIS HOUSE
AND HAVE MY WIFE's PERMISSION TO SAY SO...'''

Till today i AM HAPPY
at times only addd+ peeeee

I'm not the only one. I have learnt recently that Asturian women have always had a reputation for being strong characters. Why didn't anyone tell me that when I was courting?
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

you are still young
stand
have a stand
or
else take a stand
else simply as usual
stand

where you were coming from with the [She], I also identified with you strongly! This is something that happens to a lot of us. Heh, heh, heh... and you know, misery loves company. [Only kidding about the misery part].
I don't see anything that I would change here. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

that you could identify with this. I suppose it must happen to most husbands at some point. We enjoy going back to the times when we were single but we really miss the warmth of living with someone we love. Glad also that you didn't see anything that needed changing. A number of my recent poems have been rejected by some Neopoet readers for being to prosaic. Perhaps this one will manage to escape that fate for some reason...
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

Why fuck around with classical allusions and metaphor when you know what you want to say and say it honestly?

If more people wrote poetry like this, more people would read poetry.

That is not to say that I don't enjoy the complexities of such as WH Auden, however, and I never, ever usually use this phrase, but a straightforward poem from the heart is a joy, a real joy of poetry. Thank you.

There is an added depth to it too, it celebrates our need for solitude, which many are so afraid of.

I fine write.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

is exactly the word for the kind of poetry I hope to achieve, so I'm delighted with your comment, naturally. I suppose you could also call it "no-frills". And this one is indeed also from the heart as you put it. It's great to receive some positive feedback again after having received some heavy (albeit constructive) criticism for not being poetic enough. Many thanks.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment
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