Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Waiting For My Grandchild

You may be born any day now, any hour even.

But here I am alone, just waiting,
with a mixture of trepidation
(having seen too many disasters)
and anticipation of a new age,
not old age exactly,
but grandpa age.

Just as long as all goes well
I may soon be able to teach you a little,
calmly, slowly but surely,
fruit of experience,
knowledge of one life at least.

Just as long as all goes well,
and even if it doesn't,
I'll send your mother flowers:
despite our damaged love,
I'll try to be partly there.

Editing stage: 

Comments

You sure do like to explore the seedier side of life, don't you?
Not that I have any doubt; that there are people like that!
So shallow and cold. The sun never seems to shine on these people!
Ok, As for critique!
1] I think that I would end the sentence with [ line five ] right there,
starting a new one with[ line six ]

2] End sentence with [ line nine ]
start a new one with [ line ten ]

Otherwise, great work! You got a message, [or if you want ] vision through to some of us.
That is what it is all about! I like the theme and everything about this one. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I agree with Gee in terms of breaking up the lines into three stanzas. I liked the theme too which expresses mixed emotions. Since this is about the wait for a grandchild to arrive, did you mean "grandmother" in "I will send flowers to your mother flowers"?..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Glad you both liked the theme. I was unable to break this poem up into three stanzas for some technical reason (or just because I'm no good with computers) but I agree it would be better like that. No, I refer to my daughter, not my wife about the flowers, after all she's the one who'll have to put up with the pain! My relationship with her is still strained ever since I had depression and alcoholism and paranoia, but I really hope things will gradually slip back to normal now that I seem to be over all that.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

Ok. My best wishes for things to work out well for you with all members of your family. What is important is that your intentions are good. May all be well and everyone is able to make a fresh start in mending strained relations with the arrival of the baby, which is a time to rejoice...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Many thanks for your encouraging words. My family put up with my antics for fourteen years before finally starting to give up on me, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised if it takes a number of years to regain their love, if that is even possible. But I mean to keep trying!
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

No matter what, you just send out love each day to those that have stepped to one side during your problems.
You could try writing to them or for them, but as long as you send out that love things will repair the damage caused.
Go well gramps and enjoy from a distance then you can move closer,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Perhaps I am already writing for them with this poem, and also with one about my wife's beauty, past and present, which I intend to post tomorrow. In fact I think This Time, My Love was already an attempt to "move closer" as you put it. I thank you for your encouragement in this endeavour.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

how we all see things differently, huh? I thought it was about someone who didn't really care. Someone who was just making nice for appearances. Boy, was I wrong! I apologize! I wish you the best of luck, in repairing your relationship with your daughter. I know from experience that it will be a difficult road. My father was an alcoholic and did great damage to our family. I have two sisters that never really forgave my father for the things that happened. I now realize, that he was sick. I took care of him the last few years of his life and found that he was someone that needed help. Unfortunately, we didn't know how to help him. He had to stop drinking due to his health and then I saw the person that he really was. They wouldn't try anymore, so they never saw that. Again, good luck in your quest to regain your daughter's respect and love. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

have to live with a mental problem at some time in their lives, don't they, whether their own or in another member of their family. I am glad your managed to forgive your father and look after him in the end. I also had to give up alcohol as it was fuelling my depression and paranoia. It's so wonderful to be normal again now. Getting back into my family's good books one day would be the last step in the healing process for me.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I'm happy to be able to say I perceived a schism between the protagonist and the coming child's mother. A bit over a year ago I was by surprise pushed into that other age lol. Both my son's and their wives had said they didn't intend to have children. You just Think you know what you are in for, but you will see something you've never seen before when first you hold that bundle in your arms.
I had wondered about your double spacing your lines though. The stanza thing, since this is a free verse is mainly to give a reader time to catch a breath while reading. Hope you can overcome the tech problem. The only suggestion for your poem which come to mind is the word "damaged" in the phrase damaged love...just seems a better word is out there which doesn't sound quite as sterile............stan

for the warning. Other grandparents have also told me that there is a special bond as soon as you hold your grandchild in your arms. I suppose it must bring back all the memories of parenting for a start. First time around I actually found my kids more interesting when they could more or less walk and talk, but I realize this may be different. My main concern of course is to learn that both mother and child are O.K. after the birth. I take your point about "damaged". I considered "tainted" as well, but it didn't seem quite right. Our love was affected by my mental illnesses and alcoholism, which seem to be over now, thank heavens, so I sincerely hope that we can make a new start after this huge event.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

Maybe tattered would work. It would denote being done over time but still there......stan

is good. It sounds like an old, battle-worn flag. But perhaps it is a little too strong, as our love was only partially affected. Will think about it.
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

Your point of saying that:-
First time around I actually found my kids more interesting when they could more or less walk and talk, but I realize this may be different.
.
Well I guess you must have missed so much in your children, not to find each moment of their reliance on their parents such a joy, little helpless bundles yet aware that the world was changing moment by moment with a love that they would only feel at that stage of life.
I have always said that when a child walks he/she always walks away from you, in that they are independent, not toys but tiny humons that need a variety of love throughout their lives,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I think things will be different, although I know that when my grandchild is so small my wife and daughter will tend to monopolize her. Like the idea that our children walk away from us... Well, no, don't really like it, it just happens...
Best wishes,
Robert.

author comment

as my wife says just take it a little at a time and use love as a tool not all those other things such as regret and loss , then things will after all the work you have done become better for you ways,
Yours Ian, Anne and the children

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

nice awaiting for a GC

When my first one arrived or was to I knew the caesarean was due but the doc thought poorly of me what does this grand pa to be think of me.... so many gcs have I delivered now he makes my inner quiver.
Lo and behold the nurse went running doc doc breathless was she I knew they have to act fast ere a disaster should pass and the doc went into the ops room quickly controlled the situation a grand child was born
My eyes had tears of joy it was a baby boy

nice awaiting for a GC

When my first one arrived or was to I knew the caesarean was due but the doc thought poorly of me what does this grand pa to be think of me.... so many gcs have I delivered now he makes my inner quiver.
Lo and behold the nurse went running doc doc breathless was she I knew they have to act fast ere a disaster should pass and the doc went into the ops room quickly controlled the situation a grand child was born
My eyes had tears of joy it was a baby boy

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.