Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Words From A Friend

Why do you cower and hide?
Stand up and change your life!
Whining changes nothing!
Its sickening, irritating!

Show me your mettle, man!
Don't tell me its the end
you're neither spineless
nor are you brainless

Stop wallowing in self-pity
making yourself feel empty
when you can strive harder
be wiser and stronger!

Cowardice doesn't suit you
doubts will only stop you
when you should move forward
to be free from the hurt

Hope will only be there
when you truly dare
to face your own fears
and never surrender

Tomorrow is a new day
are you going to throw it away
and be a loser everyday,
haunted by yesterday?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I am afraid that the coward you write of is me and I shall always be him until I find that child that was treated with such disdain and contempt, watched life tie a noose and swing from a hangman's post. Although some days I don't look. It's just easier to whine then it is to think about the many different ways.

As for your poem, it is direct and to the point. The rhyme scheme feels forced and it would benefit from some meter.

S4 L1 I believe you meant "doesn't suit you"

Thanks,

Scott

Scott

my wall
it gave me an impression
whether Jess had told you
about a confession
that loved is a bloody whiner!

Well some one else has stepped in first
now I needn't thirst

rest in peace
till they permit me to become from
LOVED
LOVEDLY!

else extract from my BLOG
my last piece
and share it will you please
as if twere from me
tis!

loved

Thanks for the visit and the comment. Actually the coward is me .This poem is a summary of what people tell me. They are harsh but they mean well. That child maybe you in our past and still you deep inside. I suggest that you make peace with your past, acknowledge it as a part of your life one moment in time than realize that it cannot hurt you if you won't let it. There are people out there who have a difficult past and still manage to be better persons in the future. I have to do some soul searching myself if I want to be better.

Now for the poem, I just write the way they say them. I didn't realize the rhyming feels forced. Any ideas for the meter to even up the flow? I confess I'm not good at it.

Alid

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.